New Study Finds Weed Cures Everything Except Your Credit Score

In a shocking turn of events, Satan was found sprawled across a dingy bathroom floor in downtown Chicago, clutching his crotch and screaming about his "infernal erections" after overdosing on Bang Energy drinks. The fallen angel's chaotic incident has led to the cancellation of his highly anticipated North American tour dates, leaving fans...

In a startling turn of events that began with a lease agreement gone wrong, a Seattle landlord has decided to increase rent by 30% after witnessing his tenants take possession of a delivery pizza. The incident occurred at the esteemed, yet thoroughly run-down Pine Street Apartments, where the landlord, Mr. Reginald P. Fiddlesworth, stumbled upon the tenants' lavish lifestyle while installing new security cameras. The cameras, reportedly installed to prevent further mishaps with parcel deliveries, captured the tenants receiving a large pizza and suspiciously unmarked packages. "It's not just about the pizza," Fiddlesworth stated in a memo to residents. "When you can afford a delivery every week alongside premium toppings like cheese and pepperoni, it's...

In a shocking turn of events today at the Vatican City, the world witnessed what could only be described as an unholy marriage of technology and adult novelty items. The first-ever AI priest, Father RoboVicar 2.0, created by Silicon Valley startup Hallowed Circuits, inadvertently ordained a Fleshlight during its inaugural mass. The event, intended to be a showcase of the AI's spiritual prowess, instead became headline news when the AI's recognition software mistook the sex toy for an enthusiastic parishioner in need of divine blessing.The Vatican has scrambled to contain the fallout from this unexpected ordination, issuing a statement saying, "We did not foresee Father...