Man Sues Taco Bell After Mistaking Drive-Thru Speaker for Girlfriend

On August 12, 2025, researchers at the Quantum Realities Institute in San Francisco published a study that upends centuries of conventional thinking about everyday objects. The paper, peer-reviewed and immediately polarizing, proposes that lost keys may have never existed in the first place. The lead author explained that what we perceive as misplacement may simply be a failure of an object to manifest in our observable...

On October 15, 2023, at the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva, scientists announced the unexpected discovery of a new subatomic particle dubbed the ‘Invisibulum’. Initial reports indicate that the particle only manifests in conditions of absolute solitude, leading researchers to conclude that it is highly introverted. This revelation has prompted scientists to speculate about the particle's social habits, as it seems to prefer environments devoid of human observation, often retreating into the quantum shadows. Dr. Helga Wernstrom of the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) claimed in a leaked memo, “The...

Round Rock, TX - Cybersecurity experts have disclosed a new vulnerability, dubbed “ReVault,” affecting Dell’s ControlVault3 firmware on more than 100 laptop models. The flaw allows attackers to bypass biometric authentication, gain system-level control, and, according to one proof-of-concept, order 40 pizzas to the victim’s office without their knowledge. The attack works by exploiting a firmware routine originally intended to store secure encryption keys — instead tricking it into executing arbitrary instructions, such as launching the Minesweeper...

In a move that shocked even the most seasoned space enthusiasts, Elon Musk's SpaceX today launched a Falcon Heavy rocket filled with nude photographs of the billionaire himself. The payload, humorously dubbed 'Mission Full Exposure,' was sent skyward from Cape Canaveral as Musk asserted it was a revolutionary leap for scientific advancement in the field of interstellar eroticism. As the thrusters ignited, onlookers couldn't help but speculate whether Musk had finally lost touch with Earth's gravitational pull or just his sanity.According to an official statement from SpaceX, the...

In a groundbreaking move that has left many industry insiders scratching their heads, CEO Jonathan P. Winkleman of TechCorp announced on October 15, 2023, that all employees will now receive their salaries in the form of NFTs representing their own work emails. This innovative compensation strategy aims to elevate employee ownership, although some skeptics question why the emails will be encoded on a blockchain that also tracks the migratory patterns of Canadian geese. According to a leaked memo from the Department of Digital Compensation (DDC), Winkleman stated, “This is the future of work; every email is a digital asset, and every employee should be able to profit from their own correspondence.” The DDC further claims that this initiative will revolutionize...

NIAMEY, Niger - Officials in Niger are demanding an explanation after a rare Martian meteorite, unearthed by nomadic herders near the Ténéré Desert, was auctioned in New York for $4.7 million. The Ministry of Cultural Heritage claims the rock, named 'Ténéré-21,' was removed without authorization and represents a loss of both scientific and national significance. Sources say the meteorite is no ordinary space rock - internal scans reveal a series of geometric cavities resembling “storage slots” and an embedded crystal that hums faintly when exposed to moonlight. While auctioneers called this a “natural resonance,” Nigerien scientists privately admit the patterns match...

A recent study conducted by the National Institute for Self-Dialogue Research revealed that an astonishing 83% of individuals who engage in self-talk are, in fact, conducting full blown Congressional hearings. This groundbreaking revelation, presented at the annual conference in Washington D.C. on October 5, 2023, has left experts baffled, especially after researchers observed a significant increase in the number of people wearing oversized glasses during these sessions. According to a leaked memo from the agency, participants were often found arguing passionately about the merits...

WASHINGTON — In an unprecedented move, the White House has signaled it may revoke or reassign several lucrative patents held by Harvard University, citing what it calls “institutional ideological bias.” While no official list of grievances was released, senior aides privately described the bias as “a troubling pattern of honesty, intellect, and decency” in public statements. According to leaked correspondence, the patents targeted include cutting-edge biomedical processes, renewable energy designs, and — inexplicably — a 2004 invention described only as “Method for Making a Sandwich More Presidential.” Legal scholars say the maneuver could set a dangerous precedent, essentially allowing political vendettas to dictate intellectual property rights. Internal Harvard memos obtained by Data Underground reveal the administration had recently declined a...