JWST Captures Detailed View of Interstellar Object 3I/ATLAS, Looks An Awful Lot Like A Space Penis Coming Right For Us

July 22, 2026 at 9:42 pm
After Alaska Summit, Trump Claims Steamrolling Is ‘How Real Leaders Hug’
July 22, 2026
Judge Orders RFK Jr.’s Health Agency to Stop Feeding Medicaid Data to ICE, Says ‘Find Another…
July 22, 2026
Probing Accounts of Five Firsthand Accounts from Alleged Passengers on Extraterrestrial Craft
July 21, 2026
CERN Accidentally Opens Portal to Dimension Where Humanity Turned Out Fine
July 21, 2026
THURSDAY, JULY 23, 2026
THIS IS A MISTAKE
VOL. 2026 • NO. 204
66 Articles • 3 Featured Stories
Data Underground
Updated 7:45 PM

ReVault Hack Targets Dell ControlVault3 Firmware in 100+ Laptops — Researchers Sound Alarm

Dell firmware flaw allows strange exploits including prank orders.

Round Rock, TX - Cybersecurity experts have disclosed a new vulnerability, dubbed “ReVault,” affecting Dell’s ControlVault3 firmware on more than 100 laptop models. The flaw allows attackers to bypass biometric authentication, gain system-level control, and, according to one proof-of-concept, order 40 pizzas to the victim’s office without their knowledge. The attack works by exploiting a firmware routine originally intended to store secure encryption keys — instead tricking it into executing arbitrary instructions, such as launching the Minesweeper game at full screen during investor meetings. “It’s technically a breach, but also kind of a performance art piece,” one researcher noted. Industry analysts warn that widespread...


Elon Musk Launches Rocket Full of His Own Nudes “For Science”

In a move that shocked even the most seasoned space enthusiasts, Elon Musk's SpaceX today launched a Falcon Heavy rocket filled with nude photographs of the billionaire himself. The payload, humorously dubbed 'Mission Full Exposure,' was sent skyward from Cape Canaveral as Musk asserted it was a revolutionary leap for scientific advancement in the field of interstellar eroticism. As the thrusters ignited, onlookers couldn't help but speculate whether Musk had finally lost touch with Earth's gravitational pull or just his sanity.According to an official statement from SpaceX, the...


Fortune 500 CEO Announces Company Will Now Pay Employees in NFTs of Their Own Work Emails

An abstract illustration of emails transforming into NFTs

In a groundbreaking move that has left many industry insiders scratching their heads, CEO Jonathan P. Winkleman of TechCorp announced on October 15, 2023, that all employees will now receive their salaries in the form of NFTs representing their own work emails. This innovative compensation strategy aims to elevate employee ownership, although some skeptics question why the emails will be encoded on a blockchain that also tracks the migratory patterns of Canadian geese. According to a leaked memo from the Department of Digital Compensation (DDC), Winkleman stated, “This is...

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