Turns Out, Great Computers in Rush’s Epic 2112 Were Actually Running ChatGPT 5.2

In a groundbreaking experiment conducted at the California Institute of Technological Culinary Sciences, researchers announced on October 15, 2023, that they have successfully crossbred an avocado with a Wi-Fi router, resulting in a revolutionary product: self-updating guacamole. This culinary marvel not only ripens on its own but also streams the latest news and weather updates directly to your kitchen. As per lead scientist Dr. Althea Green, the initial inspiration struck while she was enjoying guacamole during a particularly laggy Zoom call. The hybrid, dubbed 'GuacNet,' has passed preliminary testing, according to a leaked memo from the United States Department of Edible Technology. “Our findings suggest that GuacNet can autonomously adjust its flavor profile based on trending...

On August 12, 2025, reports emerged from Washington D.C. suggesting that multiple congressional aides confirmed Tuesday that Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has maintained long-standing membership in a little-known organization called the United Churches of Luciferian Fellowship, a network of private “faith cells” said to operate quietly across several U.S. military installations....

On August 12, 2025, a shocking revelation came to light when the U.S. Department of Defense confirmed the existence of Area 52, a clandestine facility located directly beneath the notorious Area 51 in Nevada. According to sources, the facility is equipped with advanced technology, including a fleet of invisible flying saucers powered by hamster wheels. This discovery was met with both disbelief and amusement by conspiracy theorists nationwide. In a leaked memo...

In a groundbreaking development reported on August 12, 2025, scientists at the Rodent Research Institute in Des Moines, Iowa, have observed something truly unprecedented: lab mice have formed a union. This surprising turn of events began when a group of particularly ambitious mice decided that their maze-running duties were insufficiently compensated, especially given the recent influx of artisanal cheddar into the local market. The newly formed organization, known as the...

BERLIN - Security researchers have uncovered a critical flaw in Linux-based Lenovo webcams that enables attackers to deploy a BadUSB payload remotely, transforming the camera into a keystroke injector, a phishing hub, or - in one unsettling proof-of-concept — a karaoke machine. The root of the problem lies in a neglected firmware update channel that accepts unsigned instructions without verification. Once compromised, the webcam can masquerade as a USB keyboard, execute malicious commands, or, as demonstrated at last week’s DEF CON, belt out an off-key rendition of “Sweet Caroline” mid-video call. While...

On August 12, 2025, marine biologists at the Oceanic Institute of Apology Studies in San Francisco reported that the world's oceans have reached a definitive stance on remorse, stating they simply will no longer accept apologies for climate change. This groundbreaking revelation came after researchers conducted a series of deep-sea dives, where they discovered an underwater cathedral decorated with glowing seashells that appeared to be taking notes on human contrition. According to leaked documents from the International Council of Watershed Integrity, an anonymous source revealed that a memo entitled 'No More Sorries' claimed the...

On August 12, 2025, the Indian Space Research Organisation (ISRO) announced a bold new initiative following their successful moon landing in late August. Officials declared that simply reaching the moon was no longer sufficient, revealing plans for a massive yard sale on Mars, featuring items including moon rocks and space suits that may contain traces of alien lifeâor at least, thatâs what the brochure...

NEW YORK — Baseball history was made last night when Diane Rowley became Major League Baseball’s first female umpire, officiating a Yankees–Red Sox matchup at Yankee Stadium. But while her presence drew thunderous applause, what followed had fans and broadcasters scrambling for the rulebook — Rowley called the entire game using nothing but a handheld Morse code clicker. According to MLB insiders, Rowley’s method was inspired by a 1943 U.S. Navy signal manual she reportedly found in a thrift store. Every call, from strikeouts to ejections, was tapped out in...