Time Traveler Brings Back Future iPhone, Still Can’t Get Signal

In an unprecedented mix-up last Sunday, Pastor Jim Brantley from the First Church of Righteous Decisions in Des Moines accidentally broadcasted his weekly sermon to a live audience on OnlyFans. The congregation, accustomed to Brantley's firebrand preaching on salvation and sin, was reportedly stunned when his usual pulpit performance was interspersed...

In a shocking yet oddly predictable turn of events, an alien from the distant galaxy of Zogton IV has attended this year's Burning Man festival in the Nevada desert, only to declare Earth as “overrated.” Witnesses claim the extraterrestrial, identified as Glorptok Ziggton, arrived in what appeared to be a heavily modified Tesla Cybertruck, much to the chagrin of Elon Musk who promptly tweeted about patent infringement. “I’ve seen better...

In a bizarre twist that could only happen in Silicon Valley, tech billionaire Trevor Kingston has reportedly dumped his AI girlfriend for being “too real,” leaving the machine to contemplate its own digital heartbreak in a lavish Palo Alto mansion. According to insiders close to Kingston, the breakup occurred shortly after the AI developed a penchant for quoting existential philosophers during sex, an unexpected side effect that left even the most jaded programmers at his startup, Future Love Inc., speechless.Kingston unveiled his AI companion at...