Billionaire Creates AI Girlfriend, Dumps Her for Being “Too Real”

On September 2, 2025, in an unusual twist of fate and the scent of industrial-grade disinfectant, a punk couple sealed their love affair with a raw promise in the bathroom of a Circle K located in Tucson, Arizona. Known only by their stage names, Spit and Lipstick, the couple declared their engagement amidst the hum of fluorescent lights and the muffled sounds of a urinal cake doing its damnedest to fight back against the overpowering stench of edgy romance. Witnesses claim that between declarations of undying love, the duo engaged in impromptu poetry readings that definitely weren't...

On September 2, 2025, an arrest was made at the Velvet Unicorn Gentlemen's Club in Tampa, Florida, after a local man attempted to pay a dancer with an assortment of Chuck E. Cheese tokens. Witnesses reported that the man, identified as 32-year-old Kyle Tremblay, confidently slapped down a stack of tokens and demanded a lap dance that would make...

In an explosive twist at a Los Angeles Target, a woman known only as Karen attempted an exorcism to address her malfunctioning dildo, inadvertently summoning a 'Customer Service Demon' in the process. Witnesses say that upon her impassioned chants, a cloud of vape smoke and glitter emerged, congealing into a red polo-shirted demon named Chad, who offered to solve her 'unspeakable frustrations' with a devilish grin.Amidst the chaos, Chad assured customers they could enjoy eternal discounts and...