Punk Band Breaks Up After Guitarist Discovers Fortnite

June 16, 2026 at 1:48 pm
Satan Opens Brewery, Beer Literally “To Die For”
June 16, 2026
Man Dies Doing Hot Sauce Challenge, Immediately Revived by EMT With Ranch
June 15, 2026
New Netflix Show Follows Janitors Who Clean Up After Raves
June 15, 2026
TUESDAY, JUNE 16, 2026
THE CONSEQUENCES ARE IMMEDIATE
VOL. 2026 • NO. 167
174 Articles • 3 Featured Stories
Data Underground
Updated 9:05 PM

Porn Star Launches Tech Startup, Immediately Valued Higher Than Twitter

Porn Star Launches Tech Startup, Immediately Valued Higher Than Twitter

In an unexpected twist that has Silicon Valley scratching its head and adjusting its pants, former adult film star Sapphire Skye has launched a tech startup, CyberSeduce, that was just valued higher than Twitter. Investors reportedly jizzed their pants at the groundbreaking AI-driven platform, which promises to revolutionize 'personalized intimacy experiences' through advanced neural networks and an optional vibrating peripheral device.Despite the eyebrow-raising origins of its founder, CyberSeduce is being...


Punk Zine Printed on Toilet Paper, Readers Call It “Best Issue Yet”

Punk Zine Printed on Toilet Paper, Readers Call It “Best Issue Yet”

In an audacious move that left Brooklyn's rebellious hearts pounding faster than a basement mosh pit, the infamous punk zine 'Gutterspit' recently rolled out its latest issue printed on toilet paper, unapologetically doubling as both literature and emergency cleanup. Released exclusively at the Gowanus Bathtub—a venue famed for hosting music acts who allegedly require narcotic-fueled blood rituals as part...

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