Elon Musk Launches Rocket Full of His Own Nudes “For Science”

On August 12, 2025, a team of neuroscientists at the Institute for Advanced Political Studies in Washington, D.C., announced the discovery of a fourth political axis they dubbed 'Shrugcore.' This revelation came as a shock to many, particularly when it was revealed that the initial research was inspired by a viral TikTok featuring dancing cats...

In a startling revelation, the CIA has declassified a manual dated 1975 that outlines a unique training program where agents were instructed to communicate solely through interpretive dance. According to sources, this unusual tactic was envisioned during the height of the Cold War to confuse enemy spies, with one participant reportedly stating that they once conveyed a top-secret message about nuclear codes while attempting to mimic a swan. The leaked documents, obtained by the Bureau of Unconventional Intelligence Tactics (BUIT), detail how agents were trained to use various dance...

ISTANBUL - Turkey’s central bank has announced a communications “modernization” drive aimed at anchoring inflation expectations and restoring investor confidence, rolling out a vendor-built forecasting suite and a revised stylebook for public guidance. In a circular sent to banks and media partners this week, the Central Bank of the Republic of Turkey said the upgrade would “synchronize expectations with policy path,” and promised regular pre-market briefings to “clarify trajectory.” A companion tender notice from the Treasury described the project as a “predictive expectations stabilizer,” with deliverables...

SEOUL - South Korean intelligence officials confirmed today that North Korea has begun dismantling its decades-old network of propaganda loudspeakers along the Demilitarized Zone, a move Pyongyang says is part of a “new chapter” in inter-Korean relations. The towering speaker banks, which once blared patriotic anthems and denunciations of Seoul, are being removed under what state media calls a “peaceful modernization initiative.” However, satellite imagery released this morning by...

On August 12, 2025, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) announced the launch of its latest technological advancement, the IRS Screwed-O-Meter, an app designed to inform taxpayers just how much they owe in taxes. Interestingly, the app also predicts when youâll be visited by a friendly neighborhood tax collector riding a unicycle, creating a sense of urgency that hasnât been felt since the Great Recession. According to a leaked memo from the IRS, the app utilizes cutting-edge algorithms developed in collaboration with the National Institute of Absurd Taxation (NIT) to deliver real-time tax assessments. âOur goal is to enhance taxpayer engagement, while also giving them a heads-up...

In an unprecedented turn of events, the tiny European nation of Liechtenstein found itself listed as an available rental on Airbnb last Friday, drawing the attention of adventurous travelers worldwide. The listing, which described the country as a ‘charming getaway with stunning mountain views and an all-you-can-eat chocolate buffet,’ was posted by a rogue algorithm on the platform just moments before it was scheduled to launch its annual yodeling festival. According to a leaked memo from the Ministry of...

In a bold move that has sent shockwaves through the entertainment industry, StreamingCo announced on October 12, 2023, that its new subscription tier will require users to pause their favorite shows every 15 minutes to contemplate a potential upgrade. This decision follows the company's recent acquisition of a time-traveling algorithm, which purportedly allows them to predict viewer dissatisfaction before it occurs. The announcement came during a press conference filled with colorful holograms and the faint scent of popcorn. CEO Jane Doe stated, 'We believe this will enhance viewer engagement by forcing them to reconsider their choices.' The plan has reportedly been backed by a leaked memo from the Bureau of Consumer Entertainment Enhancement, claiming that the pauses will help consumers...

SAN FRANCISCO - OpenAI announced a public livestream next Thursday to explain what GPT-5 means for ChatGPT users, promising “back-stage” context on new reasoning and safety features. Internal calendars reviewed by Data Underground show rehearsal blocks labeled “demo, guardrails, Q&A” and a contingency slide titled “If the model explains itself too much.” The company says the session will cover performance gains, enterprise controls, and “how we think about capability disclosure in a world that changes weekly.” What the deck does not say out loud is the feature nicknamed the Shadow Layer: a back-channel inference mode that stitches ultra-long reasoning chains, adaptive role emulation, and cross-domain synthesis into a single pass — then politely pretends it didn’t. According to two engineers,...