Last Updated: August 17, 2025
Welcome to Data Underground, the only site brave enough to say what everyone’s not thinking — and then double down on it with Photoshop.
1. Acceptance of Terms
By using this website, you agree to everything below. If you don’t, your best option is to close this tab and stare silently into the void.
2. Content Disclaimer
All content is entirely fictional, satirical, and sometimes dangerously close to plausible. We are not:
- Ancient Astronaut Theorists
- Medical professionals
- Your mom/dad
If you mistake parody for fact, that’s on you – not us, not our web host, and certainly not the lizard people running the show.
3. Use At Your Own Risk
We don’t promise uptime, usefulness, accuracy, enlightenment, or that the site won’t go offline the second we update a plugin; it has and will.
If reading satire causes you emotional damage, maybe check out the weather instead.
4. Submissions
If you email us ideas, tips, or conspiracy theories – we might publish them, ignore them, or forward them to our group chat titled “NOPE.”
5. Behavior Expectations
Don’t be a troll. Don’t spam us. Don’t try to sell us crypto. Don’t probe our lame-ass server. Violators may be banned, ignored, or publicly roasted in a future article. Don’t underestimate us, we have a LOT of free time.
6. Third-Party Links
We sometimes link to other websites. If you follow them and end up on a 90s-era Geocities page full of blinking ads, that’s not our fault. Enjoy the bevels!
7. Legal Stuff
We don’t negotiate with trolls, hackers, bots, or conspiracy theorists (unless they’re funny). This site operates under satire laws and loosely enforced universal karmic principles.
8. Changes
We may update these Terms whenever we feel like it. If you care deeply, you should refresh this page obsessively. Was that a change? Was it? Was it?
Final Note
We’re not here to hurt your feelings – only to destroy false narratives with absurdity and sarcasm. Welcome to the Underground.
– The Data Underground Team