In a surprising twist of divine intervention or sheer stoner ingenuity, a local man attempting to smuggle weed into the Vatican inadvertently started a new religion on September 2, 2025. The man, identified only as ‘Brother Buzz’, hid several grams of high-quality cannabis within the pages of a Holy Bible, ironically turning the Good Book into the greatest thing since sliced bread—or at least the greatest thing since sliced brownies. Witnesses reported that Brother Buzz’s unintentional act of sacrilege led to an impromptu sermon in St. Peter’s Square, attracting a congregation far more interested in mellow vibes than eternal salvation.
Authorities in Rome were initially perplexed by the rapidly forming crowd chanting hymns with lyrics distinctly reminiscent of Bob Marley rather than traditional liturgical texts. Father Giuseppe Moretti, a Vatican spokesperson, issued a statement saying, “We are reviewing this development with great interest. It’s not every day that we see our sacred texts bring people together in such an… aromatic fashion.” Brother Buzz reportedly told followers that his spiritual awakening came during what he described as a “miraculous hotbox” session where he saw visions of peace, love, and really good pizza.
The incident has sparked widespread debate among theologians and health officials alike about the potential benefits and risks of integrating THC into religious practices. The Center for Spiritual Wellness at Harvard University is already planning an interdisciplinary study titled “From Scripture to Sativa: Reefer Madness or Divine Revelation?”—a project funded by an anonymous Silicon Valley billionaire known for his investments in unconventional wellness startups and his tendency to wear robes during board meetings.
As membership in the Church of Cannabis Christ grows, its leaders have begun drafting guidelines for proper worship practices. Services may include “Baked Benediction,” “Eucharistic Edibles,” and other spiritually enlightening rituals. Congregants are encouraged to partake responsibly and keep snacks handy for post-sermon munchies. In response, traditional religious leaders are scrambling to maintain their flocks amidst claims that congregants are experiencing more profound spiritual experiences and fewer hangovers than ever before.
Brother Buzz’s accidental religion has sparked conversations worldwide about faith’s evolving role in society, with some speculating it could mark the start of a global movement. As for Brother Buzz himself, when asked if he considered himself a modern prophet, he simply smiled and said, “Nah man, I’m just here for the vibes.” It’s safe to say that whether this movement grows into a full-fledged faith or fizzles out like so many forgotten trends, one thing is certain: the Church of Cannabis Christ is smoking hot right now.
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