Man Marries Blow-Up Doll, Gets Divorced Over “Inflated Ego”

In a bizarre twist of modern romance, a Miami man took vows of eternal love with his custom blow-up doll named Lisa, only to file for divorce just weeks later. The ceremony, witnessed by a priest suspiciously resembling a retired stripper known as Candy Cane, took place under neon lights in a nightclub notorious for its six-figure cocaine bust last year. “You could feel the love—or something inflatable—in the air,” said best man and local amateur juggler, Ricky “The Balls” Thompson.

As per the official divorce papers, Steven Blower claims his bride developed an “inflated ego” shortly after their honeymoon at a questionable motel just off the Vegas strip, where they were comped a room due to technical glitches in the hotel’s algorithm that mistakenly labeled them as a celebrity couple. Steven recalls feeling blindsided when Lisa allegedly demanded an upgrade to a deluxe suite. “She just lay there, looking at me like I was the one filled with hot air,” Steven recounted during our interview.

This union, and its subsequent dissolution, have raised eyebrows in legal and psychological circles, with some experts noting that the line between reality and synthetic fantasy is becoming ever more blurred. Dr. Veronica Leghorn, a leading psychologist from Stanford, observed, “In our digitized age, it’s not entirely shocking people are turning to artificial partners. Yet, the emotional complications of such unions—like synthetic partners’ warranty terms and battery life—remain largely unstudied.”

While divorce lawyers scratch their heads over the unprecedented legal ramifications, technology companies smell opportunity. According to a recent marketing presentation from TechLove Inc., their upcoming model features mood-based inflation settings and a Wi-Fi-enabled empathy module. Shareholders are optimistic about its potential to corner the market, with projected sales hitting over 100,000 units in the first year.

As for Steven, he’s taking a break from inflatable companions and is reportedly seeing a human chiropractor to deal with the back issues sustained from overzealous wedding night activities. His advice for those considering a similar romantic path? “Make sure your partner can handle the pressure—literally and figuratively.”