ANCHORAGE, AK – During a summit that was billed as a historic chance for peace talks, Fox News analysts concluded that Russian President Vladimir Putin “steamrolled” former U.S. President Donald Trump in Alaska. While Putin, speaking first, delivered nearly nine minutes of prepared remarks, Trump spoke for barely three, leaving many observers unsettled by the […]
On August 12, 2025, scientists at CERN reported an unexpected anomaly during a routine experiment involving particle collisions. The Large Hadron Collider, known for its groundbreaking research, inadvertently opened a portal to a parallel dimension where humanity has thrived without conflict, poverty, or the need for pineapple on pizza. Researchers were baffled when an envoy […]
BERLIN – In a move insiders are calling “strategically dystopian,” TikTok on Friday laid off its entire German Trust & Safety team and replaced them with a hastily assembled combination of a malfunctioning AI named Moddy and a rotating crew of remote moderators recruited via a Craigslist post titled “Like Trauma? Work From Home!” The […]
Thousands of protesters converged on Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s residence in Jerusalem, but instead of chanting slogans, they formed a massive human QR code visible from the air. Scanning the code redirected users to a website titled ‘The Receipts,’ hosting a sprawling archive of alleged corruption documents. The demonstration, coordinated via encrypted group chats, caused […]
In a surprising turn of events on August 11, 2025, the homeless population of Washington, D.C. expressed unexpected relief upon learning that former President Donald Trump and his cabinet will be relocating to an undisclosed location. The announcement, delivered in a brief statement from the Trump Transition & Relocation Office, did not specify the date […]
LEWES, DE – Residents along Delaware Bay reported a glowing orb hovering silently over the water late Wednesday night, prompting a surge of calls to local police, the Coast Guard, and — according to one dispatcher — “at least two different agencies I didn’t know we had.” Witnesses described the object as “too bright to […]
In a groundbreaking decision last Tuesday, the Maplewood Homeowners Association (HOA) announced the installation of motion-activated loudspeakers at key intersections, replacing traditional stop signs. Residents initially welcomed the change, praising its innovative approach to traffic safety. However, confusion arose when the speakers began to broadcast the phrase ‘I’m not mad, just disappointed’ at precisely 11:07 […]
A recent study conducted by the National Institute for Self-Dialogue Research revealed that an astonishing 83% of individuals who engage in self-talk are, in fact, conducting full blown Congressional hearings. This groundbreaking revelation, presented at the annual conference in Washington D.C. on October 5, 2023, has left experts baffled, especially after researchers observed a significant […]
On August 12, 2025, the small town of Quirkville, USA, was abuzz with excitement as the premiere of the documentary ‘Reviewing Reviews’ captivated audiences. Directed by renowned filmmaker Lisa Gibbons, the film delves into the lives of individuals who dedicate their existence to critiquing documentaries. However, it wasnât just the insightful commentary that caught viewers […]
On August 12, 2025, a team of neuroscientists at the Institute for Advanced Political Studies in Washington, D.C., announced the discovery of a fourth political axis they dubbed ‘Shrugcore.’ This revelation came as a shock to many, particularly when it was revealed that the initial research was inspired by a viral TikTok featuring dancing cats […]