In a shocking turn of events that puts the notorious Sex Pistols to shame, the punk band Rotten Appendixes has canceled their upcoming show at the legendary CBGB’s in New York City after every single member contracted the same rare STD from a seemingly innocent groupie from the Outer Boroughs. The disease, humorously dubbed ‘Gonorrhea […]
In a bizarre incident at the downtown branch of First National Bank in Los Angeles, a man wielding a dildo and a Super Soaker filled with urine attempted to pull off what could only be described as the most unhygienic heist in modern history. Police say the suspect, identified as 34-year-old Randy McPisser, entered the […]
In an unprecedented turn of events in the Los Angeles underground music scene, a newly discovered alien life form joined a local punk band only to quit after their first gig paid solely in beer. The extraterrestrial, hailing from a distant galaxy, was reportedly lured to Earth by the loud, thrashing sounds emanating from a […]
In a groundbreaking act of guerrilla art that has raised eyebrows and lowered airline stock prices, a local punk was apprehended for spray painting an impressive phallus on the wing of a United Airlines jet at Los Angeles International Airport. The arrest came after passengers aboard Flight 69 to New York City reported witnessing the […]
In an unprecedented twist of romance and engineering failure, a woman in Las Vegas has divorced a roller coaster after it allegedly developed a cocaine habit and went off the rails. Cecilia Morelli, 31, exchanged vows with the renowned Viper at Six Flags Magic Mountain just last year, citing its thrilling speed and magnetic charisma […]
In an unexpected twist of fate on September 2, 2025, in Atlantic City’s infamous Golden Nugget Casino, a 72-year-old grandmother accidentally won a strip poker tournament after mistaking it for a charity bingo night. Edna Thompson, reportedly unaware of the rules due to her hearing aid being set to ‘tunnel vision,’ left a table of […]
In a stunning turn of events yesterday at the Holy Cross Cemetery in Brooklyn, NYC, the punk band Anarchy’s Whisper brought mourners to their feet—and then to their knees—by igniting a mosh pit during the funeral service for local legend and hot dog vendor extraordinaire, Jimmy “The Sausage King” Lazzaro. What began as a somber […]
Vatican City was buzzing this morning after it was revealed that Pope Francis accidentally headlined an underground rave in Berlin last night, delivering what attendees hailed as the “best set ever.” The Pope, mistaking the invitation for a United Nations climate summit, reportedly turned up to the neon-lit warehouse in his usual papal regalia only […]
In a shocking turn of events at the Walmart parking lot gig last Friday, local guitarist Jimmy “Skidmark” Thompson announced he had signed an exclusive sponsorship deal with Axe Body Spray, complete with a signature scent called “Eau de Dumpster Fire.” The once-beloved shredder stunned fans by performing his entire set clad only in a […]
Last night, the unthinkable happened at Chuckle Hut in Brooklyn as Satan himself materialized on stage, delivering a fiery five-minute set that had audiences laughing harder than a nun discovering Tinder for the first time. Patrons at the club first thought it was an elaborate prank until the smell of brimstone and the distinct hum […]