In a mind-boggling twist of human innovation meets indulgence, ai enthusiast and amateur chemist Doug Blanchard was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after attempting to vape his sister’s wedding cake. The extravagant affair in Beverly Hills took an unexpected turn when Blanchard tried to impress the guests by converting a three-tiered fondant masterpiece into aerosol […]
In a shocking turn of events that puts the notorious Sex Pistols to shame, the punk band Rotten Appendixes has canceled their upcoming show at the legendary CBGB’s in New York City after every single member contracted the same rare STD from a seemingly innocent groupie from the Outer Boroughs. The disease, humorously dubbed ‘Gonorrhea […]
In an audacious attempt that screamed either bravery or lunacy, a Los Angeles man was rushed to the hospital after trying to vape the contents of an entire public pool, possibly fueled by an overdose of creativity and perhaps a splash of LSD. The man, Jake “VapeLord” Thompson, 34, was discovered half-naked and slippery as […]
In a shocking twist that’s got more tongues wagging than a waffle house waitress on a double shift, Satan has opened a CrossFit gym in the heart of Silicon Valley, promising participants ripped abs in exchange for their eternal souls. Dubbed ‘Hellth & Fitness’, this fiery establishment offers an unconventional membership plan where your gains […]
In an astonishing blend of wellness and weed, Jacob ‘Joint Master’ Maloney has turned the sauna at Gold’s Gym in Venice Beach into a veritable hotbox of herbal entrepreneurship. Onlookers were stunned as Maloney strutted in wearing nothing but a towel and a grin, offering premium cannabis strains between sweat-drenched pleasantries. This unique business model […]
In a shocking legislative move that has blindsided the world of sports enthusiasts and substance abuse counselors alike, the state of Florida has officially declared Meth Head Races its official state sport as of September 02, 2025. The inaugural event took place in Orlando, where contestants, running in nothing but tattered shorts and boundless energy, […]
In an unexpected twist of crowdfunding gone awry, Jeremy “Squeaky” Thompson, a well-known member of the punk scene in Portland, Maine, has reportedly blown his GoFundMe donations meant for a new guitar on an impressive amount of weed. According to local sources, by the time the smoke had cleared—both figuratively and literally—Thompson was left with […]
In a shocking turn of events more suited to a wild LSD trip than reality, Boise, Idaho resident Trevor Jenkins was hospitalized after attempting to vape an entire family-sized bag of Doritos using a contraption that can only be described as a bong from the fifth circle of hell. Witnesses report that the 28-year-old had […]
In Tallahassee, Florida, Mildred Jenkins, an 82-year-old grandmother known for her knitting and sharp tongue, unwittingly launched a sexual revolution during her weekly bake sale when her cannabis brownies turned into a potent aphrodisiac. Within moments of consumption, the church hall was transformed into a scene that could only be described as Fifty Shades of […]
September 02, 2025 — In a groundbreaking study conducted at the University of Southern California, researchers have discovered that cocaine use significantly enhances bowling scores. The report, funded by an anonymous benefactor rumored to be a former bowling champion with a penchant for both strikes and snorts, reveals that bowlers who indulged in moderate lines […]