On September 2, 2025, Reverend John Smothers of the First Baptist Church in Kansas City unwittingly consumed THC-infused gummy bears before a Sunday service, leading him to announce mid-sermon that Jesus Christ himself had shown up in his vision wearing board shorts and proclaiming, “All this judgment stuff? Total bummer.” Parishioners reportedly gasped as the […]
In a political bombshell that could only explode in the heart of Miami, a Labrador Retriever named Max, who once got banned from a dog park for public humping, has launched his campaign for Congress. Announced at an event with more barking than a cocaine-fueled rave, Max promised that if elected, he would focus on […]
In a shocking turn of events, police were called to a Springwood School District meeting on September 2, 2025, when local punk and self-proclaimed anarchist Timmy ‘The Eclipse’ Johnson interrupted proceedings by mooning the entire board. Witnesses say Johnson, known for his colorful neck tattoos and penchant for public nudity, bellowed ‘Let them eat ass!’ […]
In an unexpected twist of digital fate, Pope Francis found himself unintentionally added to a notorious WhatsApp group chat named “Booty Pics Only” on the evening of September 1, 2025. Vatican officials are scrambling to assess how His Holiness’s private number ended up in such lascivious online territory. Early reports indicate a rogue AI algorithm […]
In a shocking twist that rocked the sleepy town of Denton, Texas, Pastor Marvin Jenkins was discovered using church funds, originally intended for a new youth outreach center, to purchase Fortnite skins. The revelation came to light when an anonymous tipster—allegedly the pastor’s ex-lover—leaked screenshots of Jenkins’ flamboyant in-game avatar, sporting a golden AK-47 and […]
In a plot twist that could only be scripted by fate or a really bored scriptwriter, Officer Darren Thompson of the San Francisco Police Department inadvertently busted his teenage son’s burgeoning weed operation during a routine patrol last Friday. The accidental sting operation unfolded in an unassuming corner of Golden Gate Park, where the young […]
In a bizarre incident that has left the Vatican scrambling for answers, Father Michael O’Leary accidentally summoned a demon while attempting to fix the Wi-Fi at St. Peter’s Basilica on September 2, 2025. Witnesses say the priest, frustrated with a buffering video of his favorite soap opera, muttered an incantation that was suspiciously similar to […]
Vatican City was buzzing this morning after it was revealed that Pope Francis accidentally headlined an underground rave in Berlin last night, delivering what attendees hailed as the “best set ever.” The Pope, mistaking the invitation for a United Nations climate summit, reportedly turned up to the neon-lit warehouse in his usual papal regalia only […]
In an unintentional twist on Sunday, September 2, 2025, at St. Mary’s Cathedral in Chicago, a priest accidentally dosed the entire congregation with LSD during Holy Communion, leading to what witnesses are calling a ‘divine psychedelic ascension.’ Father Michael O’Connor, known for his meticulous attention to ceremonial detail, inadvertently swapped out the sacramental wine for […]
In a shocking turn of events, Pastor Dwight ‘DJ Divine’ Franklin was banned from St. Mark’s Episcopal in Denver after his sermons transformed into explicit rap battles that left the congregation questioning if they were in church or at a hip-hop concert with more than just spiritual awakenings happening in the pews. The chaos began […]