In an announcement that has left animal rights activists gasping like they just downed a line of cocaine while juggling flaming chainsaws, Florida declared chicken fights the official state sport on September 02, 2025. The decision follows a highly unusual session in the Tallahassee Capitol where a rogue rooster, allegedly spurred on by illegal stimulants, […]
In a move that AI algorithms at Florida State University didn’t predict, the Sunshine State officially declared Crocs as its state shoe, a decision marinated in both controversy and beer. The proclamation, signed today by Governor Rick “Gator” Sanchez while wearing a pair of Crocs bedazzled with miniature plastic flamingos and marijuana leaves, sets the […]
In a surprising turn of events, a wedding ceremony at a waffle house in Tallahassee became the talk of the town as local resident Carl Jenkins tied the knot with a 6-foot alligator named Lulabelle. This unconventional union was sealed under the neon lights and syrupy aroma of the establishment before an audience of befuddled […]
In a stunning move that’s got Floridians scratching their heads and reaching for their weed stashes, the state government has officially declared every day as “Bring Your Alligator to Work Day.” Governor Ripley Stone announced the decision during a press conference held at an Orlando swamp, while sipping an energy drink made from cane sugar […]
In a scene straight out of a fever dream, a Florida woman was hospitalized after attempting to perform a full-immersion baptism on her cat while naked in Lake Okeechobee, screaming about feline salvation and brandishing a dildo as her scepter. Witnesses, still in shock, described how the swampy waters erupted with alligators as the woman, […]
In a bold move that feels straight out of an onlyfans campaign, the state of Florida has officially declared every Tuesday as “Public Nudity Day,” effective immediately. This unexpected decree has thrown local municipalities into a frenzy, with residents in Miami Beach eagerly gearing up to showcase their finest au naturel fashion statements. Governor Ron […]
In a story that could only unfold in the heart of Florida on September 2, 2025, local swamp hero and part-time meth enthusiast, Ricky ‘Gator Guy’ Wilson, was apprehended by police after attempting to wrestle a 9-foot alligator in the parking lot of a Popeyes in Tallahassee. The spectacle attracted a crowd larger than the […]
In a jaw-dropping declaration that echoed across the nation’s frayed nerve endings, Florida boldly announced its secession early this morning, proclaiming itself the independent nation of Floridonia. This bombshell was swiftly followed by the unearthing of a colossal smuggling ring involving inflatable sex dolls dressed as iconic Disney princesses, destined for what insiders are calling […]
AMSTERDAM — Launching what it calls “a revolution in connected intimacy,” Lovense unveiled its new Gemini Nipple Clamps last week, promising synchronized stimulation through advanced haptic feedback and real-time app control. The product rollout was met with enthusiasm — until a firmware update accidentally linked the devices to Amsterdam’s municipal traffic light control network. According […]
In an unprecedented turn of events, the tiny European nation of Liechtenstein found itself listed as an available rental on Airbnb last Friday, drawing the attention of adventurous travelers worldwide. The listing, which described the country as a ‘charming getaway with stunning mountain views and an all-you-can-eat chocolate buffet,’ was posted by a rogue algorithm […]