In a shocking turn of events, a 79-year-old grandmother from Boise, Idaho, has launched an OnlyFans account and is reportedly raking in more money than her entire family combined. It seems like the smell of freshly baked cookies has been replaced by a saucy aroma of virtual tips and subscriptions. Evelyn Marston, affectionately known as […]
Silicon Valley, September 02, 2025—In a move that has startled even the most jaded tech enthusiasts, billionaire tech mogul Elroy Tusk has launched Breather, an app that audaciously charges users for every breath they take. The app uses the latest in nasal biometric sensors to track inhalations and exhalations, sending real-time data back to Tusk’s […]
In a surprising twist of divine intervention or technical mishap, Pastor Ezekiel Rivers of the Holy Redeemer Church in Austin, Texas, accidentally broadcasted his entire Sunday sermon live on Grindr, the popular gay dating app. Intended to reach the faithful on Facebook Live, the broadcast instead showed up amidst a sea of shirtless torsos and […]
In an unexpected twist during Sunday service at St. Ignatius Cathedral in San Francisco, Father Michael O’Reilly inadvertently broadcasted audio from the adult website Pornhub over the church’s PA system. The mishap occurred just as he began discussing the sanctity of marriage, with moans echoing around the hallowed halls, much to the shock—and perhaps secret […]
In an unexpected turn of events, suburban Chicago resident Linda Vanhoff discovered the secret to financial success wasn’t her husband’s MBA from Northwestern, but rather her own uniquely captivating toes. Initially just a curious experiment, Linda’s OnlyFans account, dedicated to what she calls ‘foot artistry,’ has raked in over $50,000 in its first month—eclipsing her […]
In an unprecedented turn of events, a San Fernando Valley man who claims to have emotionally bankrupt himself watching countless step-sibling porn videos, has sued Pornhub for false advertising. Jasper Tuttle, a local plumber turned self-proclaimed “step-sibling enthusiast,” alleges that the site’s videos not only over-promise sexual chemistry but also left him with an unrealistic […]
September 02, 2025—In a scene straight out of a sci-fi porno, a naked time traveler materialized outside of Apple’s Cupertino headquarters, clutching an iPhone from the year 2056 like it was a divine sex toy. The man, only identifying himself as “Xanathar the Wireless Wanderer,” caused quite the stir when he declared that this futuristic […]
In a shocking move this morning, billionaire tech magnate Eli Worthington unveiled a new cryptocurrency, ExoticaCoin, which is supposedly backed by a fluctuating index of premium sex toy sales. Within minutes of the announcement at Stanford University’s blockchain summit, the global financial markets took a nosedive, leading to chaos on Wall Street and widespread panic […]
In a groundbreaking move blending independent publishing with adult entertainment, gritty Brooklyn punk zine “Riotous Harmony” has found its financial salvation by launching exclusively on OnlyFans, sparking both chaos and curiosity. Released on September 1, the first issue featured an editorial that boldly combined anarchist poetry with tastefully curated nudes of the editorial staff, immediately […]
In a lawsuit that has left legal experts clutching their pearls and fast-food enthusiasts shaking their heads, an Illinois woman is suing the popular dating app Tinder for emotional distress after her date took her to an Arby’s in downtown Chicago on their first rendezvous. Sheila Greenberg claims her expectations were utterly defiled when instead […]