In an incident that has shaken the tiny community of Barstow, California to its core, a local gas station witnessed an extraterrestrial being apprehended for attempting to shoplift several cases of Bud Light on September 2, 2025. According to witnesses, the alien had nonchalantly strolled through the aisles before tucking the brew under its elongated, […]
In an unprecedented turn of events in the Los Angeles underground music scene, a newly discovered alien life form joined a local punk band only to quit after their first gig paid solely in beer. The extraterrestrial, hailing from a distant galaxy, was reportedly lured to Earth by the loud, thrashing sounds emanating from a […]
In an unexpected turn of events that baffled patrons and staff alike, a disoriented alien was discovered nursing a fifth of Jack Daniel’s in the bathroom of an Applebee’s located in Roswell, New Mexico. The extraterrestrial visitor, who identified himself as Zoglar from the planet Glorp, reportedly slurred incoherently about Earth’s ‘oppressive gravitational field’ before […]
In a shocking turn of events that rocked NASA’s Johnson Space Center, Blorpk, an extraterrestrial consultant from the Zeta Reticuli system, resigned on September 2, 2025, citing ‘unsatisfactory compensation’ as the primary reason. The alien, originally hired to assist in humanity’s first interstellar contact program, was appalled upon receiving payment in what officials described as […]
In a shocking interstellar romance twist, an alien named Zorblax from the Andromeda Galaxy has ended his relationship with Earth-based girlfriend Tiffany Michaels, citing her “unacceptable human hygiene practices” as the primary reason. The couple, who met in a Reddit AMA about UFO sightings, had been dating for nearly two Martian months. According to Zorblax, […]
In a shocking twist of interstellar diplomacy, an alien spacecraft was spotted hovering menacingly over Area 51 last night, demanding the planet pay an astronomical ransom—not in gold or technology, but in craft beer. The extraterrestrial envoy, who identified himself only as Zorblax, issued a firm ultimatum to Earth’s leaders: no more abductions unless their […]
Seattle, WA – In a shocking revelation that left caffeine addicts choking on their lattes, an extraterrestrial employee at a downtown Starbucks has resigned, citing an excessive number of encounters with notoriously difficult customers known as “Karens.” The alien, a six-tentacled entity from the Andromeda galaxy, was particularly irked after a customer complaint about her […]
In a surprising crackdown that left even the most hardened New Yorkers blushing, Zogthar, a notorious alien from Zorblax-7, was banned from Earth for driving without insurance while allegedly intoxicated on a volatile mixture of martian aphrodisiacs and moonshine. The incident occurred last Saturday in downtown Manhattan, where Zogthar’s spaceship was found idling above a […]
In an unprecedented cosmic labor dispute that could only happen on a Monday, a disgruntled alien from the Zogthar Quadrant dramatically quit its janitorial position at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California, citing unsatisfactory pay and a shocking lack of interstellar benefits. The extraterrestrial known as Zil’arak, who had been quietly working under the […]
In a groundbreaking revelation that sent the scientific community spiraling into fits of laughter, NASA announced on September 2, 2025, that the black hole previously discovered in deep space is, in fact, the bathroom of a Waffle House located in Jacksonville, Florida. The confusion arose when a team of astrophysicists mistook the gravitational pull of […]