In an unprecedented move that’s left both astrophysicists and the porn industry flabbergasted, Silicon Valley billionaire tech mogul Elon Barf today finalized his purchase of the Moon. By sentence two of his press release, Barf detailed his intentions to list it on Airbnb for “intimate getaways with an extraterrestrial view.” The announcement sent shockwaves through […]
Residents of Salina, Kansas woke up to an unexpected visitor early this morning when a UFO landed smack dab in the middle of a wheat field. The extraterrestrial craft, described by eyewitnesses as “a shiny metallic donut with a penchant for probing,” immediately drew attention—not least because it unleashed an audio-visual display featuring the Bee […]
Today, September 02, 2025, in an astonishing revelation, NASA scientists have confirmed that the moon is not a barren rock but rather an enormous ufo filled with vapes. This discovery came after a routine satellite transmission revealed a massive plume of flavored vapor exhaling from lunar craters, leading experts to conclude that the entire moon […]
In a press conference held aboard a mockup ISS module in Mountain View, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman assured new graduates they would have “limitless opportunities” in space, though he emphasized that most positions would be “janitorial adjacent.” The announcement came alongside a broader tech-industry initiative to outsource orbital maintenance tasks to debt-laden humanities majors. “Cleaning […]
On October 12, 2023, NASA’s Perseverance rover made headlines when it transmitted a photograph revealing what appeared to be a fully operational Starbucks drive-thru on the Martian surface. The image, taken near the Jezero Crater, raised eyebrows among scientists, especially when the rover’s onboard AI requested a pumpkin spice latte, citing ‘seasonal necessity’ in its […]
PENTAGON — Defense Department officials confirmed they are reviewing new footage of a rod-shaped unidentified flying object streaking over the Pacific Ocean late Monday night. While analysts say the object’s speed and trajectory defy known aircraft capabilities, the Pentagon insists it is “absolutely, unequivocally not the same rod as last week.” At a press briefing, […]
On August 12, 2025, in a press conference held at SpaceX headquarters in Hawthorne, California, CEO Elon Musk announced an ambitious plan to establish a lunar base by 2025. The announcement came with a peculiar caveat: Musk stated that the timeline would only be feasible once Tesla vehicles stop spontaneously combusting due to their new […]