MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – In a quiet update that was neither press-released nor mentioned aloud by a single human employee, Google’s Project Zero has reportedly adopted a “flexible disclosure policy” regarding security vulnerabilities – a bold move that shifts their position from “warn the world in 90 days” to “eh, we’ll see.” The policy was […]
In a groundbreaking initiative launched on October 1, 2023, the city of San Francisco unveiled its latest technological marvel: smart streetlights that not only illuminate the streets but also provide unsolicited fashion critiques. Residents were bewildered when the lights began to murmur comments like, ‘Those shoes with that dress? Bold choice!’ as people walked by, […]
On August 12, 2025, in a surprising turn of events, the National Security Agency announced that it has officially graded American citizens on their life choices due to overwhelming boredom. The announcement came during a routine press conference where NSA Director William Jones humorously suggested that the agency had inadvertently developed a penchant for scoring […]
BERLIN – Security researchers have uncovered a critical flaw in Linux-based Lenovo webcams that enables attackers to deploy a BadUSB payload remotely, transforming the camera into a keystroke injector, a phishing hub, or – in one unsettling proof-of-concept — a karaoke machine. The root of the problem lies in a neglected firmware update channel that […]