NASA Accidentally Replies ‘New Phone, Who Dis?’ to Incoming Asteroid’s Warning Signal

On October 15, 2023, NASA’s mission control received an unexpected warning signal from what appeared to be a rapidly approaching asteroid, designated 2023-XYZ. However, in a bizarre turn of events, a junior staff member mistakenly responded with a text message reading, ‘New phone, who dis?’ This message was sent from the agency’s official communications line, prompting confusion and concern among scientists who pride themselves on their attention to detail.

The memo detailing this blunder was leaked by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration’s Office of Comedic Affairs, revealing that the agency has been struggling with the integration of human responses into automated systems. “We never thought something like this could happen,” stated Dr. Helen Quirk, head of Asteroid Relations, who also noted that their AI was programmed to handle threats but not to recognize casual texting etiquette.

In a world where technology is often more reliable than human interaction, experts believe that this incident raises questions about our preparedness for potential asteroid impacts. Recent studies suggest that 67% of astronomers are understandably skeptical of the new ‘Asteroid Alert App,’ which was meant to pair with the NASA communication systems, now tainted by this texting fiasco. Furthermore, a shocking 45% of surveyed scientists admitted to sending emojis in critical communications, further complicating the gravity of our celestial threats.

As analyses of the event continue, some engineers are proposing a radical new interface that utilizes holographic imagery combined with quantum text recognition to prevent future misunderstandings. “We’ve calculated that a 92% increase in communication clarity could be achieved,” explained Dr. L. M. Turing, who also mentioned that the holograms might require a minimum of three-dimensional space to operate effectively—a challenge for the cramped confines of mission control.

Reflecting on the original mix-up, Dr. Quirk warned, “If we keep up this level of incompetence, we might end up inviting the asteroid for coffee instead of diverting it.” With a shrug, she added, “But hey, at least it’ll know we’re friendly when it arrives.”