World Leaders Begin Annual “Blame Each Other for Everything” Summit

On August 12, 2025, world leaders gathered in Geneva for the Annual Blame Each Other for Everything Summit, a time-honored tradition where heads of state deliberate global issues, while simultaneously accusing one another of intergalactic potato theft. Delegates from over 150 countries are expected to air grievances, alongside the customary exchange of inflatable rubber chickens as a token of diplomacy.

According to leaked memos from the International Bureau of Unsubstantiated Claims (IBUC), this year’s summit will feature new accusation booths where leaders can step in for a five-minute rant against their rivals, backed by a panel of experts from the Institute of Dramatic Exaggeration. It’s a revolutionary step in global discourse, claimed IBUC spokesperson, Ted Bluster, who also noted that the booths would be equipped with sound effects for dramatic emphasis.

In a shocking yet oddly believable twist, sources revealed that the summit’s lunch menu will include climate change-themed dishes, such as Melting Ice Cap Sorbet and Deforestation Delight. Observers noted that the conference will also address the rising influence of Quantum Social Media, a platform where users can engage in arguments across multiple dimensions simultaneously, which has reportedly increased global discontent by 200%.

Technical analysis of the summit’s agenda suggests that discussions will pivot towards the recently discovered Schrodinger’s Blame phenomenon, where accusations exist in a state of both truth and falsehood until verified by the Quantum Accusation Panel. Participants are expected to delve into the fine print of the Compulsory Blame Redistribution Act, which mandates that each nation must blame at least three others for every domestic issue, with penalties involving mandatory karaoke sessions.

As the summit unfolds, one can’t help but wonder how long before the inflatable rubber chickens evolve into sentient beings, demanding reparations for their role in global grievances. With tensions rising and potato theft allegations looming, the world may soon find itself at the mercy of a rubber chicken uprising an omen of global absurdity that could redefine leadership as we know it.