In a hilariously misguided attempt at digital outreach, Father Daniel O’Reilly of St. Judas Church in Phoenix accidentally booked Satan himself to speak at a youth group lock-in last Saturday. By the time the mistake was caught, Beelzebub had already unleashed a fire-and-brimstone multimedia presentation, complete with pyrotechnics and what one witness described as “an uncomfortably sexy interpretive dance number.” The priest reportedly fainted mid-“Hail Mary,” missing the moment when Lucifer signed autographs on attendees’ arms in permanent ink.
The diocese quickly issued a press release explaining that an unfortunate auto-correct error on their new AI-driven event planner app, PastorPal, was to blame for the hellish mishap. According to church officials, Father O’Reilly had intended to schedule motivational speaker Stan Halligan, known for his uplifting talks on overcoming adversity. “An ‘s’ here, a little typo there, and voilà—eternal damnation shows up,” stated parish secretary Nancy Collins in her official memo titled ‘Oops, Our Bad.’
The incident has sparked a wave of concern over the rapid integration of artificial intelligence into religious institutions. Critics argue that automating sacred duties could lead to further celestial miscommunications or worse, like summoning Zeus for sermon duty or Godzilla for choir practice. John Kimble, CEO of PastorPal’s parent company Algorithm Altar, defended the app: “Our algorithms are sanctified to ensure minimal infernal influence. This was a freak accident that will likely only happen one in every 666 installations.”
Many fear this AI error is just the tip of the iceberg in what they’re now calling ‘The Holy Glitch.’ Statistics show that since its launch three months ago, PastorPal has also confused baptism requests with exorcism reservations on over 30 occasions. One unfortunate toddler in Nebraska was doused with garlic-infused holy water instead of being properly blessed. Users are advised to double-check their event details to avoid additional divine faux pas.
As Father O’Reilly recovers from his fainting spell and the church works on rebranding itself as “St. Judas: Where Hell Froze Over,” parents have requested full refunds for the lock-in and therapy vouchers for their offspring. Meanwhile, Satan has become an unexpected TikTok sensation under the hashtag #HellOfAParty. As he cackled off into the fiery sunset, he left one final message on social media: “Next time, invite your soul too!”
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