In an incident that has left a small Texas town buzzing like a malfunctioning Roomba, a woman has filed a lawsuit against McDonald’s after she claimed Grimace, the iconic purple mascot, slapped her ass during what was supposed to be a routine family lunch. Witnesses at the Austin location reported hearing a distinct ‘whap’ followed by a surprised yelp as the family-friendly mascot allegedly got a little too friendly. Local authorities are taking the case seriously, although there are murmurs of this being just another bizarre chapter in the wild west of fast food encounters.
The lawsuit details an account where, after ordering a Happy Meal, the woman was approached by Grimace for what she assumed would be a photo opportunity. Instead, things took a turn when Grimace allegedly leaned in and delivered the slap heard ’round the drive-thru. ‘We have zero tolerance for employee misconduct,’ said McDonald’s spokesperson Charlie Fryer. ‘We assure our customers that Grimace’s playful behavior is normally restricted to shaking hands and high-fives, not unwarranted physical contact.’
Local legal experts suggest this case could set a precedent in fast-food mascot interactions. The plaintiff’s lawyer, J.T. Snicker, argues that McDonald’s needs better control over their characters, citing previous incidents like the Hamburglar’s notorious pickle theft spree in 2023 and Ronald McDonald’s unexpected cameo in an adult film that went viral on TikTok last year. The lawsuit seeks damages for emotional distress and dry-cleaning bills.
As the case gains traction, rumors are swirling about potential corporate fallout. Sources inside McDonald’s hint at emergency board meetings discussing everything from sensitivity training for mascots to implementing an AI-based system designed to predict inappropriate behaviors among costumed employees. Unofficial reports suggest that the new AI will analyze movements down to the millimeter to prevent any future ‘Grimace Gropes’ or similar incidents.
While some critics dismiss the lawsuit as frivolous, others see it as an important step toward reforming how fast-food giants manage their mascots. As for Grimace, he’s been temporarily suspended pending investigation and is reportedly in hiding at Ronald McDonald’s private island resort. In a bold statement, the woman’s lawyer promised this is just the beginning: ‘Today it’s Grimace; tomorrow we tackle Mayor McCheese’s alleged embezzlement scheme.’ Time will tell if her case will bring about meaningful change or if it’ll fizzle out faster than last month’s limited-edition McRib.
Leave a Reply