AMSTERDAM — Launching what it calls “a revolution in connected intimacy,” Lovense unveiled its new Gemini Nipple Clamps last week, promising synchronized stimulation through advanced haptic feedback and real-time app control. The product rollout was met with enthusiasm — until a firmware update accidentally linked the devices to Amsterdam’s municipal traffic light control network.
According to early reports, the integration glitch occurred when developers reused an API key from a decommissioned smart crosswalk project. As a result, wearers across the city began experiencing synchronized pulses that coincided with red-light cycles. “It was thrilling at first,” said one anonymous beta tester, “but rush hour was… overwhelming.”
City officials scrambled to disconnect the devices from the network after a spike in both traffic violations and unexplained personal emergencies. Cybersecurity experts warn the incident highlights the dangers of “overlapping IoT ecosystems,” especially when adult products share infrastructure with public safety systems.
Lovense has issued a public apology and promised a firmware patch “within days,” though leaked internal emails suggest the marketing department is pushing to brand the event as “The World’s First Civic Pleasure Experience.”
As of press time, a small but vocal group of users are petitioning to keep the integration, citing “unparalleled synchronicity between public order and private joy.”
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