Alien Quits Earth Job After Getting Paid in Exposure

In a shocking turn of events that rocked NASA’s Johnson Space Center, Blorpk, an extraterrestrial consultant from the Zeta Reticuli system, resigned on September 2, 2025, citing ‘unsatisfactory compensation’ as the primary reason. The alien, originally hired to assist in humanity’s first interstellar contact program, was appalled upon receiving payment in what officials described as ‘an abundant opportunity for exposure.’ Blorpk, notorious for its penchant for neon body paint and zero-gravity pole dancing, expressed sheer bewilderment at Earth’s employment practices.

‘I came here to share my advanced knowledge of quantum entanglement, not to become a damn influencer!’ Blorpk declared in a press conference held outside the Houston facility. The alien produced an official memo it received from NASA, which promised immense visibility across Earth’s media platforms as an adequate reward. ‘I should have stayed on Zeta, where at least they pay you in dark matter credits,’ it grumbled while broadcasting a holographic slideshow of celestial selfies taken during its stint.

The fiasco unfolds amid growing concerns over governmental attempts to cut costs by leveraging extraterrestrial workers. In a recently leaked document titled ‘Project Galactic Freelancer,’ senior officials detailed plans to outsource complex tasks to off-world consultants like Blorpk. The report mentioned saving up to 15 billion dollars annually by offering non-monetary benefits such as social media stardom and cameo appearances in blockbuster movies.

NASA’s spokesperson attempted damage control by releasing a statement emphasizing the unique opportunities for intergalactic synergy and cultural exchange. ‘We provide experiences that go beyond monetary gain,’ stated the official while munching on a stress-induced fifth donut. However, reports suggest side effects of this interstellar exploitation include spontaneous combustion of employees’ dignity and unforeseen lawsuits filed via quantum legal systems.

Blorpk’s abrupt departure leaves behind a trail of confused scientists and social media managers now scrambling to rebrand Earth’s image among potential cosmic collaborators. As it boarded its spacecraft, leaving a trail of glittering stardust in its wake, Blorpk offered a parting thought: ‘If Earth wants to be the new galactic hotspot, maybe they should start by paying their damn consultants.’ And with that mic-drop moment, the alien vanished into the sky, leaving Earthlings questioning if exposure was truly worth the embarrassment.