Today, September 02, 2025, in an astonishing revelation, NASA scientists have confirmed that the moon is not a barren rock but rather an enormous ufo filled with vapes. This discovery came after a routine satellite transmission revealed a massive plume of flavored vapor exhaling from lunar craters, leading experts to conclude that the entire moon is constructed from discarded e-cigarettes and fruity vape cartridges.
According to Dr. Ima Puffer, head researcher at NASA’s newly formed Astrolung Division, “The whole thing’s a giant vape cloud. We’ve been breathing in cotton candy mist every night without even knowing it. We always thought the moon was distant and unreachable; turns out it’s just a big puff away.” NASA plans to send astronauts with oversized lungs and extra-strong nicotine patches to study this phenomenon more closely.
Meanwhile, conspiracy theorists on Earth are having a field day, proposing that Big Vape has been in cahoots with extraterrestrial forces for years. The Moon-Smoke Conspiracy Act of 2026 is already under review by Congress to investigate potential collusion between vape companies and alien corporations. In a leaked internal memo, Juul executives allegedly referred to the moon as “our biggest cloud factory” while lobbying for tax breaks on interstellar shipments.
Experts warn that this new lunar composition could severely impact Earth’s climate due to excess vapor, causing unintended side effects such as widespread munchies and unexplained urges to listen to synthwave music at high volumes. Scientists are urgently developing a Vaporized Asteroid Deflection System (VADS), which aims to redirect rogue vape clouds threatening to crash into Earth.
The vaping moon revelation has not only astounded astronomers but also attracted attention from unexpected quarters. Elon Musk tweeted early this morning, “Time to light up the universe!” Critics argue it’s just another smokescreen tactic from tech billionaires. As humanity gears up for the first mission to the Vape Moon, one thing is certain: we’re about to inhale history.
Leave a Reply