In a shocking turn of events this past Saturday night, a local punk rock aficionado was apprehended at a Nashville Waffle House after inciting a full-fledged mosh pit within the confines of the breakfast joint. Patrons were caught off guard as greasy hash browns flew through the air like projectile missiles amidst a cacophony of […]
OTTAWA – Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney and Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum Pardo are slated to meet this September for what officials are calling a “historic bilateral summit of meaningful silence.” The two leaders, citing a shared interest in “strategic hemispheric cooperation,” confirmed that no official agenda has been set — aside from deliberately not […]
In a groundbreaking move that has left many industry insiders scratching their heads, CEO Jonathan P. Winkleman of TechCorp announced on October 15, 2023, that all employees will now receive their salaries in the form of NFTs representing their own work emails. This innovative compensation strategy aims to elevate employee ownership, although some skeptics question […]
On August 12, 2025, Coca-Cola made headlines as it revealed that its much-hyped new beverage flavor, ‘Crisp Cascade,’ was nothing more than glorified tap water. The announcement, made during a live-streamed press conference from Atlanta, Georgia, was accompanied by an oddly cheerful tap dance performance by the CEO, who claimed it was a ‘refreshing twist’ […]
WASHINGTON – Newly declassified military records have shed light on the operations of the long-rumored Interplanetary Phenomenon Unit (IPU), a Cold War–era task force dedicated to investigating UFOs and potential extraterrestrial threats. Among the most bizarre revelations: field agents were once required to conduct “preemptive interviews” with unusually shaped rocks. According to the documents, the […]