Toronto, Canada – In a newly unearthed liner note discovered behind a Toronto Waffle House, it was revealed that the oppressive A.I. overlords in Rush’s 2112 weren’t omniscient machines — they were just early builds of ChatGPT 5.0 running in verbose mode. “We assumed the Priests of the Temples of Syrinx were godlike intellects,” said […]
In a groundbreaking decision last Tuesday, the Maplewood Homeowners Association (HOA) announced the installation of motion-activated loudspeakers at key intersections, replacing traditional stop signs. Residents initially welcomed the change, praising its innovative approach to traffic safety. However, confusion arose when the speakers began to broadcast the phrase ‘I’m not mad, just disappointed’ at precisely 11:07 […]
NIAMEY, Niger – Officials in Niger are demanding an explanation after a rare Martian meteorite, unearthed by nomadic herders near the Ténéré Desert, was auctioned in New York for $4.7 million. The Ministry of Cultural Heritage claims the rock, named ‘Ténéré-21,’ was removed without authorization and represents a loss of both scientific and national significance. […]
A recent study conducted by the National Institute for Self-Dialogue Research revealed that an astonishing 83% of individuals who engage in self-talk are, in fact, conducting full blown Congressional hearings. This groundbreaking revelation, presented at the annual conference in Washington D.C. on October 5, 2023, has left experts baffled, especially after researchers observed a significant […]
On August 12, 2025, the small town of Quirkville, USA, was abuzz with excitement as the premiere of the documentary ‘Reviewing Reviews’ captivated audiences. Directed by renowned filmmaker Lisa Gibbons, the film delves into the lives of individuals who dedicate their existence to critiquing documentaries. However, it wasnât just the insightful commentary that caught viewers […]
SEOUL – South Korean intelligence officials confirmed today that North Korea has begun dismantling its decades-old network of propaganda loudspeakers along the Demilitarized Zone, a move Pyongyang says is part of a “new chapter” in inter-Korean relations. The towering speaker banks, which once blared patriotic anthems and denunciations of Seoul, are being removed under what […]
In a bold move that has sent shockwaves through the entertainment industry, StreamingCo announced on October 12, 2023, that its new subscription tier will require users to pause their favorite shows every 15 minutes to contemplate a potential upgrade. This decision follows the company’s recent acquisition of a time-traveling algorithm, which purportedly allows them to […]
On August 12, 2025, reports emerged from Washington D.C. suggesting that multiple congressional aides confirmed Tuesday that Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has maintained long-standing membership in a little-known organization called the United Churches of Luciferian Fellowship, a network of private “faith cells” said to operate quietly across several U.S. military installations. The revelation emerged after […]
On August 12, 2025, a groundbreaking study released by the International Institute for Rational Thought in Zurich revealed that a staggering 97% of participants believe they are the sole rational beings in an increasingly chaotic world. Surprisingly, the study’s lead researcher, Dr. Elara Moonbeam, noted that the responses were overwhelmingly influenced by a peculiar nationwide […]