In a shocking twist that rocked the sleepy town of Denton, Texas, Pastor Marvin Jenkins was discovered using church funds, originally intended for a new youth outreach center, to purchase Fortnite skins. The revelation came to light when an anonymous tipster—allegedly the pastor’s ex-lover—leaked screenshots of Jenkins’ flamboyant in-game avatar, sporting a golden AK-47 and […]
In a stunning display of wealth and strategic entrepreneurialism, tech billionaire Elon Buffenstein has purchased the entire continent of Antarctica from an undisclosed alien government. Mere hours after the transaction, Buffenstein listed ‘genuine Antarctic snow’ on eBay at a starting bid of $10,000 per scoop. Sources inside Buffenstein’s operation suggest this move is part of […]
In a plot twist that could only be scripted by fate or a really bored scriptwriter, Officer Darren Thompson of the San Francisco Police Department inadvertently busted his teenage son’s burgeoning weed operation during a routine patrol last Friday. The accidental sting operation unfolded in an unassuming corner of Golden Gate Park, where the young […]
In a bizarre incident that has left the Vatican scrambling for answers, Father Michael O’Leary accidentally summoned a demon while attempting to fix the Wi-Fi at St. Peter’s Basilica on September 2, 2025. Witnesses say the priest, frustrated with a buffering video of his favorite soap opera, muttered an incantation that was suspiciously similar to […]
Vatican City was buzzing this morning after it was revealed that Pope Francis accidentally headlined an underground rave in Berlin last night, delivering what attendees hailed as the “best set ever.” The Pope, mistaking the invitation for a United Nations climate summit, reportedly turned up to the neon-lit warehouse in his usual papal regalia only […]
In an unintentional twist on Sunday, September 2, 2025, at St. Mary’s Cathedral in Chicago, a priest accidentally dosed the entire congregation with LSD during Holy Communion, leading to what witnesses are calling a ‘divine psychedelic ascension.’ Father Michael O’Connor, known for his meticulous attention to ceremonial detail, inadvertently swapped out the sacramental wine for […]
In a shocking twist, billionaire Richard Branson accidentally triggered an internal crisis within the Flat Earth Society by introducing its members to Google Earth during a party at his Necker Island mansion. Attendees reportedly believed it was a new adult VR experience and were disappointed when they couldn’t find the ‘hole to hell’ they’d heard […]
In a shocking turn of events, Pastor Dwight ‘DJ Divine’ Franklin was banned from St. Mark’s Episcopal in Denver after his sermons transformed into explicit rap battles that left the congregation questioning if they were in church or at a hip-hop concert with more than just spiritual awakenings happening in the pews. The chaos began […]
In an unprecedented turn of events, Officer Dave Jenkins of the San Francisco Police Department inadvertently handcuffed himself during a routine DUI checkpoint last night, raising more than just eyebrows among his fellow officers. Witnesses reported that Jenkins, while attempting to demonstrate the proper technique for handling inebriated unicorns—an entirely fictional concept he’d concocted after […]
VATICAN CITY – In a twist befitting the end times, Pope Francis inadvertently endorsed a leading butt plug manufacturer on Twitter early this morning, sending shockwaves through the devout and debauched alike. The Pontiff’s official handle @Pontifex tweeted, “Embrace fullness and explore the divine pleasure,” alongside a promotional image for Heavenly Plugs—a company known for […]