GREENBELT, MD — NASA officials confirmed Thursday that interstellar object 3I/ATLAS, recently captured in extraordinary detail by the James Webb Space Telescope, is “technically and anatomically consistent with a space dong.” The object, measuring over 400 meters in length with a pronounced bulge near the midpoint, is currently on a trajectory that will pass near […]
ROSWELL, NM – In a report that’s already breaking records for the phrase “no, seriously,” five individuals from wildly unrelated walks of life have come forward claiming they were abducted by aliens, taken aboard spacecraft, and – let’s not mince words here – probed into new tax brackets. Published by the Institute for Unwelcomed Interstellar […]
On October 12, 2023, NASA’s Perseverance rover made headlines when it transmitted a photograph revealing what appeared to be a fully operational Starbucks drive-thru on the Martian surface. The image, taken near the Jezero Crater, raised eyebrows among scientists, especially when the rover’s onboard AI requested a pumpkin spice latte, citing ‘seasonal necessity’ in its […]
PENTAGON — Defense Department officials confirmed they are reviewing new footage of a rod-shaped unidentified flying object streaking over the Pacific Ocean late Monday night. While analysts say the object’s speed and trajectory defy known aircraft capabilities, the Pentagon insists it is “absolutely, unequivocally not the same rod as last week.” At a press briefing, […]
On August 12, 2025, an unexpected diplomatic crisis unfolded at the National UFO Research Center in Roswell, New Mexico, when representatives from the Intergalactic Coalition of Harmonious Beings returned a gift previously sent from Earth – a Nickelback CD – along with a formal letter of complaint. Witnesses reported the extraterrestrial delegation arrived in stately […]
On October 15, 2023, at the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva, scientists announced the unexpected discovery of a new subatomic particle dubbed the ‘Invisibulum’. Initial reports indicate that the particle only manifests in conditions of absolute solitude, leading researchers to conclude that it is highly introverted. This revelation has prompted scientists to speculate about the […]
On August 12, 2025, researchers at the Quantum Realities Institute in San Francisco published a study that upends centuries of conventional thinking about everyday objects. The paper, peer-reviewed and immediately polarizing, proposes that lost keys may have never existed in the first place. The lead author explained that what we perceive as misplacement may simply […]
In a stunning revelation on October 15, 2023, the Pentagon confirmed that a UFO was sighted near the coast of California, with eyewitnesses reporting that the craft utilized turn signals before vanishing into thin air. This sighting, occurring just after an unexpected flash mob of synchronized swimmers performed a routine nearby, has left experts baffled […]
WASHINGTON – Newly declassified military records have shed light on the operations of the long-rumored Interplanetary Phenomenon Unit (IPU), a Cold War–era task force dedicated to investigating UFOs and potential extraterrestrial threats. Among the most bizarre revelations: field agents were once required to conduct “preemptive interviews” with unusually shaped rocks. According to the documents, the […]
On August 12, 2025, in a press conference held at SpaceX headquarters in Hawthorne, California, CEO Elon Musk announced an ambitious plan to establish a lunar base by 2025. The announcement came with a peculiar caveat: Musk stated that the timeline would only be feasible once Tesla vehicles stop spontaneously combusting due to their new […]