In a surprising turn of events, a wedding ceremony at a waffle house in Tallahassee became the talk of the town as local resident Carl Jenkins tied the knot with a 6-foot alligator named Lulabelle. This unconventional union was sealed under the neon lights and syrupy aroma of the establishment before an audience of befuddled patrons and one very confused justice of the peace. “It was love at first bite,” Jenkins declared, holding Lulabelle’s tiny claw with a tenderness usually reserved for high school sweethearts or really good bourbon.
The nuptials, however, hit a rocky patch just days after when Jenkins filed for divorce, citing that Lulabelle was “too clingy” and refused to let go of his arm during their honeymoon swim in Lake Okeechobee. According to court documents, Jenkins claimed, “She never gave me any space; it was all tail this, teeth that—like she was always on edge about something.” Florida Fish and Wildlife officers intervened when Lulabelle allegedly tried to take their relationship to the next level by dragging Jenkins into deeper waters.
As unconventional as this may sound, such marriages between humans and reptiles have become increasingly common in Florida’s more libertine counties. The local government has even started issuing ‘Reptile Union Certificates’ through an app called GatorMate designed by Jacksonville-based startup Scaly Solutions. “These relationships challenge traditional norms,” explains Dr. Henry Crocwell, CEO of Scaly Solutions. “Who’s to say what’s valid in love anymore? Plus, the user engagement numbers are off the charts!”
The app claims 1,500 downloads within its first week and has helped facilitate over a hundred gator-human match-ups since its launch last month. Each certificate comes with a unique QR code allowing easy scanning by officiants as well as curious onlookers at the ceremony. Reports indicate that some users have experienced minor side effects such as swamp-scented bouquets and pre-wedding jitters mistaken for a fear of being eaten alive.
With his brief reptilian romance now behind him, Jenkins plans to focus on a new passion: advocating for clearer guidelines on interspecies unions in Florida law. “Let my story be a warning,” he said at a recent press conference held outside the waffle house. “If you’re going to marry a gator, make sure they give you some space—or at least get them a therapist.” It’s safe to say Jenkins won’t be swiping right on any cold-blooded companions anytime soon.