GENEVA – Researchers at CERN announced Thursday that they’ve identified a rare diamond with the potential to revolutionize open-source quantum sensing – or fetch “at least six bills, easy” at a pawn shop off I-35, depending on how things shake out. The 11.7-carat stone, discovered embedded in the floor tile of a discontinued vape pen […]
In a surprising turn of events on August 11, 2025, the homeless population of Washington, D.C. expressed unexpected relief upon learning that former President Donald Trump and his cabinet will be relocating to an undisclosed location. The announcement, delivered in a brief statement from the Trump Transition & Relocation Office, did not specify the date […]
In a move that shocked even the most seasoned space enthusiasts, Elon Musk’s SpaceX today launched a Falcon Heavy rocket filled with nude photographs of the billionaire himself. The payload, humorously dubbed ‘Mission Full Exposure,’ was sent skyward from Cape Canaveral as Musk asserted it was a revolutionary leap for scientific advancement in the field […]
On August 12, 2025, a team of neuroscientists at the Institute for Advanced Political Studies in Washington, D.C., announced the discovery of a fourth political axis they dubbed ‘Shrugcore.’ This revelation came as a shock to many, particularly when it was revealed that the initial research was inspired by a viral TikTok featuring dancing cats […]