In what local authorities are calling both a breakthrough in scientific research and an alarming disregard for retail ethics, Susan McElroy was apprehended on September 2, 2025, at a Brooklyn Walgreens for attempting to abscond with over 400 condoms. According to the police report, McElroy, a self-proclaimed sexologist, justified her actions by declaring that the […]
In a surprising turn of events on September 2, 2025, Satan himself was pulled over for speeding through a school zone in Palo Alto. Police records reveal that the Prince of Darkness was clocked at a blistering 666 mph, narrowly missing PTA moms and their overpriced SUVs. When questioned, Satan blamed a faulty GPS system […]
In a shocking twist on culinary crime, a man high on weed broke into an Arby’s in Cleveland’s bustling downtown district early Monday morning, stealing nothing but curly fries and leaving behind a trail of confusion and horseradish sauce. The suspect, described by police as a curly-haired man in his thirties wearing a t-shirt emblazoned […]
In a bizarre twist of modern romance, a Miami man took vows of eternal love with his custom blow-up doll named Lisa, only to file for divorce just weeks later. The ceremony, witnessed by a priest suspiciously resembling a retired stripper known as Candy Cane, took place under neon lights in a nightclub notorious for […]
In an audacious stunt that stunned both scientists and porn enthusiasts alike, Chad ‘Chaz’ Grayson scaled Mount Everest wearing nothing but a GoPro and a strategic placement of duct tape over his privates to prove his Flat Earth theory. Upon reaching the summit last Wednesday, Chaz reportedly bellowed, “Even with my junk freezing, the horizon’s […]
In an unexpected turn of events, suburban Chicago resident Linda Vanhoff discovered the secret to financial success wasn’t her husband’s MBA from Northwestern, but rather her own uniquely captivating toes. Initially just a curious experiment, Linda’s OnlyFans account, dedicated to what she calls ‘foot artistry,’ has raked in over $50,000 in its first month—eclipsing her […]
In an unprecedented twist, a man has reportedly set up permanent residence in an IKEA display room in Burbank, California, cleverly evading staff detection for months with the help of AI-generated disguises. Patrons initially thought he was part of an avant-garde marketing campaign, until a night shift employee stumbled upon him in a compromising position […]
In a stunning move that’s got Floridians scratching their heads and reaching for their weed stashes, the state government has officially declared every day as “Bring Your Alligator to Work Day.” Governor Ripley Stone announced the decision during a press conference held at an Orlando swamp, while sipping an energy drink made from cane sugar […]
In an unprecedented turn of events, a San Fernando Valley man who claims to have emotionally bankrupt himself watching countless step-sibling porn videos, has sued Pornhub for false advertising. Jasper Tuttle, a local plumber turned self-proclaimed “step-sibling enthusiast,” alleges that the site’s videos not only over-promise sexual chemistry but also left him with an unrealistic […]
In a bizarre twist of spectral infidelity, an OnlyFans model from San Francisco claims her ghost boyfriend cheated on her with another medium. Emily Carter, who has been dating the ethereal figure for over a year, revealed the scandalous betrayal in an emotional TikTok video, suggesting the afterlife is just as messy as Tinder. According […]