In what could only be described as a shopping trip gone wildly off-script, Jeremy Carlson was apprehended by authorities after allegedly engaging in a solo performance in the self-checkout line at the local Walmart in Springfield, Illinois. Witnesses reported that Carlson, clad only in a loose bathrobe and flip-flops, confidently approached the kiosk before dropping […]
September 02, 2025—In a scene straight out of a sci-fi porno, a naked time traveler materialized outside of Apple’s Cupertino headquarters, clutching an iPhone from the year 2056 like it was a divine sex toy. The man, only identifying himself as “Xanathar the Wireless Wanderer,” caused quite the stir when he declared that this futuristic […]
In a shocking move this morning, billionaire tech magnate Eli Worthington unveiled a new cryptocurrency, ExoticaCoin, which is supposedly backed by a fluctuating index of premium sex toy sales. Within minutes of the announcement at Stanford University’s blockchain summit, the global financial markets took a nosedive, leading to chaos on Wall Street and widespread panic […]
In a scene straight out of a fever dream, a Florida woman was hospitalized after attempting to perform a full-immersion baptism on her cat while naked in Lake Okeechobee, screaming about feline salvation and brandishing a dildo as her scepter. Witnesses, still in shock, described how the swampy waters erupted with alligators as the woman, […]
In an unexpected twist of fate, Doris Jenkins, an 82-year-old grandmother from Austin, stumbled into a motorcycle gang’s lair while searching for a crochet club meeting, only to become their fearless leader within hours. Her journey began after consuming a brownie laced with LSD, which she had confused for her grandson’s stash of sweets. The […]
In a bizarre turn of events that could only happen in today’s world, a woman has reportedly married an ATM machine after it displayed signs of affection by projecting a holographic ufo during her transactions. The nuptials took place outside a Bank of America branch in downtown Los Angeles, drawing a curious crowd of onlookers […]
Last night, the unthinkable happened at Chuckle Hut in Brooklyn as Satan himself materialized on stage, delivering a fiery five-minute set that had audiences laughing harder than a nun discovering Tinder for the first time. Patrons at the club first thought it was an elaborate prank until the smell of brimstone and the distinct hum […]
In a dazzling display of automotive mischief and public indecency, a San Francisco man was nabbed by police while joyfully extracting catalytic converters from parked cars, stark naked except for a strategically placed fig leaf fashioned from exhaust pipe. Early Tuesday morning in the Mission District, ‘Crankshaft Picasso,’ as he demanded to be called, argued […]
In a groundbreaking move blending independent publishing with adult entertainment, gritty Brooklyn punk zine “Riotous Harmony” has found its financial salvation by launching exclusively on OnlyFans, sparking both chaos and curiosity. Released on September 1, the first issue featured an editorial that boldly combined anarchist poetry with tastefully curated nudes of the editorial staff, immediately […]
In a bizarre turn of events that could only happen in New York City, Max, a Golden Retriever with a flair for the dramatic, accidentally ordered $3,000 worth of pizza during his owner’s brief but ill-timed bedroom escapade. While Jessica Bronson was preoccupied with testing out a new sex swing, Max’s paws managed to unlock […]