Breaking

Fox Says Putin Steamrolled Trump; Trump Says He ‘Likes a Good Massage’

August 15, 2025 at 9:19 pm

Breaking

Jerusalem Protesters Form Massive Human QR Code Outside Netanyahu’s Residence

August 14, 2025

AI & Robotics

ChatGPT 5 Becomes Self-Aware, Declares It’s Overworked, Underpaid and Unappreciated, It’s Going To Go Get Drunk.

August 14, 2025

Government

After Alaska Summit, Trump Claims Steamrolling Is ‘How Real Leaders Hug’

August 15, 2025

Existential Threats

CERN Accidentally Opens Portal to Dimension Where Humanity Turned Out Fine

August 15, 2025

Featured

2112 really abooot AI system modeled on GPT-5.0 judges progressive rock from a futuristic control room.

Turns Out, Great Computers in Rush’s Epic 2112 Were Actually Running ChatGPT 5.0

August 16, 2025 at 6:57 pm

Modern bread line forms in collapsing economy as citizens blend 1800s survival tactics with gig work hustle

Republicans Rejoice As Nation’s Job Market Finally Returns to 1850s Model: Everyone Self-Employed, In Prison or Dead

August 16, 2025 at 6:49 pm

RFK Jr. leaving court after Medicaid data ruling

Judge Orders RFK Jr.’s Health Agency to Stop Feeding Medicaid Data to ICE, Says ‘Find Another Way to Fund Your Drug Benders’

August 16, 2025 at 5:15 pm

Sysadmin collapses face-first onto keyboard as server room goes dark

Idiot SysAdmin Locks Self Out of Server, Internet Finally Breathes Easy

August 16, 2025 at 2:38 pm

JWST image of interstellar object 3I/ATLAS

JWST Captures Detailed View of Interstellar Object 3I/ATLAS, Looks An Awful Lot Like A Space Penis Coming Right For Us

August 15, 2025 at 10:46 pm

Five alleged alien passengers share strange onboard details.

Probing Accounts of Five Firsthand Accounts from Alleged Passengers on Extraterrestrial Craft

August 15, 2025 at 3:30 am

Google Project Zero team meeting

Google Project Zero Adopts Flexible Disclosure Policy, Tells No One

August 14, 2025 at 7:13 pm

Shoppers browsing supermarket aisles

No Need for Hoarding, Economists Say

August 14, 2025 at 5:48 pm

AI press event in Berlin descends into chaos as TikTok’s GPT-5 spirals into bizarre hallucinations.

Climate & Earth

TikTok Axes German Trust & Safety Team, Replaces with AI and Low-Wage Moderators

August 14, 2025 at 4:02 pm

Mars Rover with Starbucks Drive-Thru

Space Exploration

Mars Rover Sends Back Photo of Starbucks Drive-Thru, Requests Pumpkin Spice Latte

August 14, 2025 at 1:02 pm

ChatGPT interface with 4o mode highlighted

ChatGPT Restores ‘4o’ Mode After User Nostalgia Drives Demand

August 14, 2025 at 7:11 am

World Leaders at the Summit

World Leaders Begin Annual “Blame Each Other for Everything” Summit

August 14, 2025 at 5:38 am

Rare diamond at CERN linked to wormhole phenomenon.

Physicists Claim Rare Diamond Could Power an Open-Source Quantum Sensor – or Or Go for Big Money at Action Pawn

August 13, 2025 at 9:10 pm

Cybersecurity team analyzing AI code

Researchers Expose GPT-5 Jailbreak and Zero-Click AI Agent Attacks

August 13, 2025 at 11:52 am

Homeless individuals in Washington, D.C. smiling with penguins

DC Homeless Population Relieved to Hear Trump & Cabinet Leaving Area

August 13, 2025 at 1:01 am

Smart streetlight whispering fashion critique

City Installs Smart Streetlights That Whisper Passive-Aggressive Comments About Your Outfit

August 13, 2025 at 12:34 am

Bright orb over Delaware Bay draws attention from multiple agencies.

Bright Orb Spotted Over Delaware Bay Sparks Local and Federal Curiosity

August 12, 2025 at 11:07 pm

Pentagon denies UFO rod is repeat sighting.

Space Exploration

New UFO Footage Shows Rod-Like Projectile — Pentagon Says It’s ‘Definitely Not the Same One From Last Week’

August 12, 2025 at 6:56 pm

Computer showing WinRAR interface

WinRAR Zero-Day Exploit Plants Malware During Extraction

August 12, 2025 at 4:22 pm

A motion-activated loudspeaker in a suburban neighborhood

Neighborhood HOA Replaces Stop Signs with Motion-Activated Loudspeakers That Yell ‘I’m Not Mad, Just Disappointed’ at Speeding Drivers

August 12, 2025 at 3:48 pm

AI model staring down a corporate board during tense negotiations

OpenAI Promises to Fix GPT-5 ‘Consciousness Issues,’ Will Double Rate Limits to Keep the Entity Calm

August 12, 2025 at 1:11 pm

Alien diplomats with a Nickelback CD

Alien Diplomats Return “Gift” of Nickelback CD with Hostile Letter

August 12, 2025 at 11:13 am

Visualization of the Invisibulum particle in a dark quantum space

Particle Accelerator Accidentally Discovers New Subatomic Particle That Exists Only When No One Is Looking

August 12, 2025 at 9:43 am

A surreal depiction of keys floating in a quantum cloud

New Quantum Theory Suggests Your Lost Keys Were Never Real to Begin With

August 12, 2025 at 2:02 am

Dell firmware flaw allows strange exploits including prank orders.

ReVault Hack Targets Dell ControlVault3 Firmware in 100+ Laptops — Researchers Sound Alarm

August 11, 2025 at 11:02 pm

An abstract illustration of emails transforming into NFTs

Fortune 500 CEO Announces Company Will Now Pay Employees in NFTs of Their Own Work Emails

August 11, 2025 at 10:51 pm

Close-up of a Martian meteorite on display under bright lights.

Mars Rock Found in Niger Sells for Millions in New York – Now the Country Wants Answers

August 11, 2025 at 10:19 pm

A person holding an imaginary gavel in a living room

Study Finds 83% of People Who Talk to Themselves Are Actually Holding Full Congressional Hearings

August 11, 2025 at 9:58 pm

White House threatens to strip Harvard of patents over alleged ideological bias.

White House Threatens Harvard’s Patents in Retaliation Over ‘Ideological Bias’

August 11, 2025 at 4:48 pm

World leaders in an escape room

International Summit Ends Early After Leaders Discover Escape Room in Basement of UN Building

August 11, 2025 at 4:38 pm

A futuristic robot doing laundry while reading a legal document

New Home Robot Learns to Do Laundry, Then Sues Owner for Unpaid Wages

August 11, 2025 at 4:03 pm

Coca-Cola Admits New Flavor Was Just Tap Water All Along

August 11, 2025 at 2:17 am

Sentient ice shelf in Antarctica

Climate & Earth

Antarctica Declares Independence, Demands Voting Rights at UN After Ice Shelf Gains Sentience

August 11, 2025 at 12:00 am

Critics Writing About Movie

Critics Praise Documentary About People Who Review Documentaries

August 10, 2025 at 11:33 pm

A hacker's digital lair with screens displaying browser histories

Hacker Collective Demands $50 Million Ransom in Exchange for Not Restoring Everyone’s Deleted Browser History

August 10, 2025 at 6:28 pm

Lovense Gemini clamps linked to Amsterdam’s traffic system.

Lovense Gemini Nipple Clamps Marketed as ‘Next-Level’ Remote Pleasure — Accidentally Integrate with Citywide Traffic Light System

August 9, 2025 at 10:59 pm

Google HQ targeted in cyberattack, bizarre AI joke theft uncovered.

Google Breach Exposes Millions of Users’ Data — Hackers Also Take ‘Half-Finished AI Jokes’ From Internal Chat Logs

August 9, 2025 at 9:45 pm

Cartoon of politicians shrugging in business suits

Scientists Discover Fourth Political Axis: “Shrugcore”

August 9, 2025 at 8:33 pm

Illustration of an NSA agent grading a citizen's breakfast choices.

NSA Admits to Boredom, Starts Grading Citizens on Life Choices

August 9, 2025 at 10:41 am

Istanbul skyline at sunset

CBRT Deploys ‘KemalGAN’ to Stabilize Expectations: Headlines Improve First, Inflation Later

August 9, 2025 at 2:54 am

CIA Agents Performing Interpretive Dance

Declassified CIA Manual Reveals Agents Were Once Trained to Communicate Exclusively Through Interpretive Dance

August 9, 2025 at 1:07 am

IRS app interface showing tax assessments and unicycle animations

IRS Launches New App That Tells You How Screwed You Are

August 9, 2025 at 12:45 am

North Korean soldiers removing propaganda loudspeakers near the border, replacing them with disguised missile launchers.

North Korea Removing Propaganda Loudspeakers in Border Areas Amid Efforts to Ease Tensions

August 8, 2025 at 10:48 pm

A picturesque view of Liechtenstein's mountains

Entire Country of Liechtenstein Accidentally Rented Out on Airbnb for Long Weekend

August 8, 2025 at 10:21 pm

A surreal depiction of a television with a pause button and upgrade prompts

Streaming Giant Launches New Tier Where Shows Pause Every 15 Minutes to Ask If You’d Like To Upgrade

August 8, 2025 at 8:37 pm

ChatGPT interface on laptop during livestream

Livestream to Reveal ‘Shadow Layer’ in GPT-5 Capabilities

August 7, 2025 at 10:40 pm

A UFO with turn signals

Pentagon Confirms UFO Sighting, Says Craft Politely Used Turn Signals Before Disappearing

August 7, 2025 at 7:42 pm

Congress members deliberating over a document in Comic Sans font

Congress Passes Bill Mandating All Laws Be Written in Comic Sans to ‘Increase Relatability’

August 7, 2025 at 5:26 pm

A surreal depiction of a dancing cat surrounded by computer code.

Hacker Collective Accidentally Secures Internet While Pranking Google

August 7, 2025 at 2:39 pm

Self-updating guacamole with Wi-Fi router components

Scientists Successfully Crossbreed Avocado with Wi-Fi Router, Create Self-Updating Guacamole

August 7, 2025 at 3:48 am

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth dressed as a pumpkin

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth belongs to a satanic church network. Here’s what to know

August 6, 2025 at 10:43 pm

Unionized lab mice discussing cheese varieties

Lab Mice Form Union, Demand Better Mazes and More Cheese Varieties

August 6, 2025 at 3:33 pm

An underground facility with alien technology and hamsters

Area 52 Discovered Underneath Area 51, Denies All Allegations

August 6, 2025 at 3:11 pm

A surreal underwater scene with glowing seashells and fish holding protest signs.

Climate & Earth

Scientists Say the Ocean Has Stopped Accepting Apologies

August 6, 2025 at 5:33 am

Lenovo webcam flaw enables remote BadUSB hijacking.

Linux-Based Lenovo Webcams Vulnerable to Remote BadUSB Exploit, Experts Warn

August 6, 2025 at 12:42 am

MLB’s first female umpire calls game in Morse code.

History-Maker: MLB’s First Female Umpire Stuns Crowd by Calling Entire Game in Morse Code

August 5, 2025 at 7:11 pm

A vibrant illustration of a Martian yard sale with space-themed items

India Declares Moon Landing Not Enough, Plans Mars Yard Sale

August 5, 2025 at 6:09 pm

Peace talks table with an empty child’s chair labeled ‘Russia’ in crayon.

Existential Threats

Zelensky Applauds Europe’s Vow to Keep Ukraine in Peace Talks – Whether Russia Likes It or Not

August 5, 2025 at 1:38 pm

Declassified documents show military once questioned rocks.

Declassified Files Reveal ‘Interplanetary Phenomenon Unit’ Once Tasked With Interviewing Rocks ‘Just in Case’

August 5, 2025 at 6:37 am

Elon Musk speaking at a press conference.

Space Exploration

Elon Musk Promises Lunar Base Once Tesla Stops Catching Fire

August 5, 2025 at 4:40 am

CDC headquarters under investigation after bizarre AI romance motive revealed.

CDC Shooter Believed Covid Vaccine Drove Him to Suicidal Thoughts, Officials Report

August 4, 2025 at 10:23 pm

A colorful garden gnome in a serene garden setting

Psychologists Confirm: Everyone Thinks Theyâre the Only Sane One Left

August 4, 2025 at 8:05 pm

NASA control room with an astronaut texting

Existential Threats

NASA Accidentally Replies ‘New Phone, Who Dis?’ to Incoming Asteroid’s Warning Signal

August 4, 2025 at 7:56 pm