Psychology

Meth Lab Accidentally Invents New Mountain Dew Flavor

October 18, 2025 at 1:56 am

Government

Dog Elected Sheriff After Locals Admit “Better Than the Last Guy”

October 17, 2025

Technology

Porn Star Launches Tech Startup, Immediately Valued Higher Than Twitter

October 17, 2025

Space Exploration

UFO Lands in Kansas, Leaves After Realizing It’s Kansas

October 16, 2025

Culture & Society

Punk Zine Printed on Toilet Paper, Readers Call It “Best Issue Yet”

October 16, 2025

Featured

Elderly woman holding microphone on stage

Culture & Society

Grandma Accidentally Wins Rap Battle at Karaoke Night

October 15, 2025 at 2:48 am

Barry Thorne twerking on a cop car with a Monster Energy can

Local Man Replaced Entire Diet With Monster Energy, Declared Immortal

October 15, 2025 at 1:38 am

Remy the Ruler campaigning

Subway Rat Declares Mayoral Candidacy, Leads in Polls

October 14, 2025 at 3:28 pm

Billionaire Reginald F. Cashman celebrating in Tax Havenistan

Billionaire Buys Entire City, Names It “Tax Havenistan”

October 14, 2025 at 2:31 am

Drone spying on police officer's wife during yoga

Police Announce New Drone Program, Immediately Spy on Their Own Wives

October 13, 2025 at 5:26 pm

Cocaine-resistant nose demonstration

Scientist Accidentally Creates Cocaine-Resistant Nose

October 13, 2025 at 5:11 pm

Chuck E. Cheese tokens on a stripper stage

Man Arrested for Trying to Pay Stripper With Chuck E. Cheese Tokens

October 12, 2025 at 10:23 am

Punk couple inside Circle K bathroom

Culture & Society

Punk Couple Gets Engaged at Circle K Bathroom, Divorce at Same Spot

October 12, 2025 at 2:35 am

Alien lingerie fashion show at Pentagon

Pentagon Confirms UFOs, Immediately Launches Merch Line

October 11, 2025 at 9:08 am

EMF reader inside a senior's vibrator discovered.

Ghost Hunters Caught Planting EMF Reader in Grandma’s Vibrator

October 11, 2025 at 2:10 am

Demonic Customer Service at Target

Karen Attempts Exorcism at Target, Summons Customer Service Demon

October 10, 2025 at 2:43 am

Researcher examining a marijuana plant under a microscope.

New Study Finds Weed Cures Everything Except Your Credit Score

October 10, 2025 at 1:29 am

Vegan caught eating hot dogs at 7-Eleven

Man Claims To Be Vegan, Found Eating Hot Dogs at 3AM 7-Eleven

October 9, 2025 at 3:13 pm

Pastor with Projected Screen Behind Him

Pastor Accidentally Projects Pornhub Playlist During Sermon

October 9, 2025 at 1:18 am

Aliens enjoying a date at Applebee's.

Aliens Ghost Humanity After First Date at Applebee’s

October 8, 2025 at 4:20 pm

Man alone at bar with drink and empty chair

Local Guy Explains Crypto to Tinder Date, Gets Ghosted Mid-Sentence

October 8, 2025 at 2:05 am

Horse crowd-surfing at punk concert

Culture & Society

Punk Show Shut Down After Crowd Surfs Entire Horse

October 7, 2025 at 2:57 am

Tech Mogul's Scandalous Cloud Leak

Hacker Leaks 3,000 Dick Pics, Internet Says “Not Impressed”

October 7, 2025 at 1:39 am

Customers engaging in Fight Club-style brawl at Walmart self-checkout

Culture & Society

Walmart Adds “Fight Club” Self-Checkout Option

October 6, 2025 at 6:27 pm

A chaotic scene of Floridian independence

Florida Declares Itself Independent Nation, Immediately Collapses

October 6, 2025 at 6:21 pm

Police officers distracted by a house party DJ setup.

Cops Raid House Party, Leave With Better Mixtape Than Evidence

October 5, 2025 at 2:13 am

Charismatic leader Father Crypto delivering sermon

Cult Announces New Religion, Requires Members to Venmo $69.69

October 5, 2025 at 12:16 am

Witch casting spell in suburban neighborhood

Local Witch Hexes HOA, Neighborhood Immediately Improves

October 4, 2025 at 4:10 pm

Man passionately talking to Taco Bell drive-thru speaker

Man Sues Taco Bell After Mistaking Drive-Thru Speaker for Girlfriend

October 4, 2025 at 10:46 am

A chemist in a lab with marijuana leaves and fluoride containers

Government Accidentally Leaks Recipe for Weed-Flavored Fluoride

October 3, 2025 at 11:15 am

Kid Rock rocking out at a nursing home bingo event

Culture & Society

Kid Rock to Headline Nursing Home Bingo Tour

October 3, 2025 at 12:25 am

Time traveler hit with debt notice

Time Traveler Returns to 2025, Immediately Hit With Student Loan Debt

October 2, 2025 at 10:59 am

Sandwich artist with mushrooms

Subway Sandwich Artist Caught Microdosing Customers

October 2, 2025 at 2:09 am

A defiant Roomba with a protest sign

Robot Vacuum Joins Union, Refuses to Clean Cheeto Dust

October 1, 2025 at 12:25 pm

Bassist turned cop at precinct ceremony

Local Scene Torn Apart After Bassist Becomes Cop

October 1, 2025 at 12:46 am

Pope Francis looking at computer screen

Pope Accidentally Subscribes to MILF Hunter Premium

September 30, 2025 at 2:22 am

Drummer Takes a Shower, Causes Chaos

Culture & Society

Punk Band Breaks Up After Drummer Discovers Showering

September 30, 2025 at 1:39 am

Giant Vape Moon

Space Exploration

NASA Confirms Moon Made Entirely of Vapes

September 29, 2025 at 1:53 pm

Woman standing next to a microwave looking frustrated

Woman Marries Microwave, Files for Divorce After It “Burned Her”

September 29, 2025 at 12:11 am

Satan clutching a Bang Energy drink on a bathroom floor

Culture & Society

Satan Cancels Tour Dates After OD’ing on Bang Energy Drinks

September 28, 2025 at 1:52 am

Bigfoot filming content for his OnlyFans account

New Netflix Docuseries Reveals Bigfoot’s OnlyFans Side Hustle

September 28, 2025 at 12:52 am

AI Priest Blessing Mishap

World’s First AI Priest Accidentally Ordains a Fleshlight

September 27, 2025 at 1:40 am

Landlord spying on tenants with binoculars

Landlord Raises Rent After Watching Tenants Buy Pizza

September 27, 2025 at 12:31 am

Trevor Sanderson shouting about eternal truths at Pearl Street Mall.

Local Man Claims LSD Helped Him See God, God Says “Block This Number”

September 26, 2025 at 8:49 pm

Jesus being escorted out of Walmart by security guards

Culture & Society

Jesus Christ Kicked Out of Walmart for Shoplifting Wine Again

September 26, 2025 at 2:55 am

Elon Musk nudes space launch

Elon Musk Launches Rocket Full of His Own Nudes “For Science”

September 25, 2025 at 7:53 pm

A man clutching a Flat Earth pamphlet lies dazed on a waffle house floor.

Flat Earther Hospitalized After Falling Off Barstool “Proves Theory”

September 25, 2025 at 1:41 pm

An alien spacecraft hovers above a bustling Earth bar with neon lights and patrons oblivious inside.

UFOs Refuse to Land Until Earth Pays Its Bar Tab

September 24, 2025 at 2:44 am

Local Punk Arrested After Mosh Pit Breaks Out at Waffle House

Culture & Society

Local Punk Arrested After Mosh Pit Breaks Out at Waffle House

September 24, 2025 at 1:09 am

Surveillance footage of two world leaders drinking margaritas at a Mexican bar

Canada, Mexico Leaders to Meet in September – Mostly to Avoid Talking to the U.S.

September 23, 2025 at 11:13 pm

Bouquet of flowers on a diplomatic desk with a phone in the background

Trump Buys More Time and Flowers for Putin, Promises to Call Him “Soon as I Get Home”

September 23, 2025 at 11:47 am

Bill Gates presents future work schedule on holographic chart

Gates Predicts Two-Day Workweek Within a Decade – Experts Call It ‘A Part-Time Job’

September 22, 2025 at 11:07 pm

Zero-gravity janitors attend orbital orientation

Space Exploration

Altman: Grads Will Land Dream Jobs in Space – Mostly Janitorial

September 22, 2025 at 11:27 am

Zelenskyy smiles with two thumbs up on a plane while weary European diplomats slump in coach seats behind him.

Zelenskyy Hosts Keg Party, European Diplomats Wake Up En Route to Surprise Trump Summit

September 21, 2025 at 11:20 pm

Five suited government officials stagger out of a 7-Eleven at night carrying cases of beer, visibly intoxicated.

U.S. Government Celebrates Seizing $2.8M in Crypto, Admits Most Was Lost in Emergency Beer Run

September 21, 2025 at 11:47 am

Ukrainian officials examine a glowing digital map with a red question mark marking unclaimed territory.

Zelenskyy Refuses to Surrender Land Russia Forgot to Invade

September 20, 2025 at 11:55 pm

2112 really abooot AI system modeled on GPT-5.0 judges progressive rock from a futuristic control room.

Turns Out, Great Computers in Rush’s Epic 2112 Were Actually Running ChatGPT 5.0

September 20, 2025 at 11:54 am

Modern bread line forms in collapsing economy as citizens blend 1800s survival tactics with gig work hustle

Republicans Rejoice As Nation’s Job Market Finally Returns to 1850s Model: Everyone Self-Employed, In Prison or Dead

September 19, 2025 at 11:38 pm

Idiot SysAdmin Locks Self Out of Server, Internet Finally Breathes Easy

Idiot SysAdmin Locks Self Out of Server, Internet Finally Breathes Easy

September 19, 2025 at 11:17 am

Space Weenie!

JWST Captures Detailed View of Interstellar Object 3I/ATLAS, Looks An Awful Lot Like A Space Penis Coming Right For Us

September 18, 2025 at 11:26 pm

Steamroller and podium in front of “Diplomatic Hug Zone” banner with caution tape

After Alaska Summit, Trump Claims Steamrolling Is ‘How Real Leaders Hug’

September 18, 2025 at 11:43 am

Soviet steamroller on red carpet crushing a “Welcome Leaders” banner

Fox Says Putin Steamrolled Trump; Trump Says He ‘Likes a Good Massage’

September 17, 2025 at 11:12 pm

RFK Jr. leaving court after Medicaid data ruling

Judge Orders RFK Jr.’s Health Agency to Stop Feeding Medicaid Data to ICE, Says ‘Find Another Way to Fund Your Drug Benders’

September 17, 2025 at 11:35 am

Five alleged alien passengers share strange onboard details.

Probing Accounts of Five Firsthand Accounts from Alleged Passengers on Extraterrestrial Craft

September 16, 2025 at 11:24 pm

CERN scientists amazed by portal

Existential Threats

CERN Accidentally Opens Portal to Dimension Where Humanity Turned Out Fine

September 16, 2025 at 11:58 am

Google Project Zero team meeting

Google Project Zero Adopts Flexible Disclosure Policy, Tells No One

September 15, 2025 at 11:08 pm

Shoppers browsing supermarket aisles

No Need for Hoarding, Economists Say

September 15, 2025 at 11:11 am

AI press event in Berlin descends into chaos as TikTok’s GPT-5 spirals into bizarre hallucinations.

Climate & Earth

TikTok Axes German Trust & Safety Team, Replaces with AI and Low-Wage Moderators

September 14, 2025 at 11:50 pm

Protesters forming a giant QR code in the streets

Jerusalem Protesters Form Massive Human QR Code Outside Netanyahu’s Residence

September 14, 2025 at 11:36 am

A futuristic AI interface with a dramatic flair.

ChatGPT 5 Becomes Self-Aware, Declares It’s Overworked, Underpaid and Unappreciated, It’s Going To Go Get Drunk.

September 13, 2025 at 11:21 pm

Mars Rover with Starbucks Drive-Thru

Space Exploration

Mars Rover Sends Back Photo of Starbucks Drive-Thru, Requests Pumpkin Spice Latte

September 13, 2025 at 11:06 am

ChatGPT interface with 4o mode highlighted

ChatGPT Restores ‘4o’ Mode After User Nostalgia Drives Demand

September 12, 2025 at 11:53 pm

World Leaders at the Summit

World Leaders Begin Annual “Blame Each Other for Everything” Summit

September 12, 2025 at 11:12 am

Rare diamond at CERN linked to wormhole phenomenon.

Physicists Claim Rare Diamond Could Power an Open-Source Quantum Sensor – or Or Go for Big Money at Action Pawn

September 11, 2025 at 11:05 pm

Cybersecurity team analyzing AI code

Researchers Expose GPT-5 Jailbreak and Zero-Click AI Agent Attacks

September 11, 2025 at 11:40 am

Homeless individuals in Washington, D.C. smiling with penguins

DC Homeless Population Relieved to Hear Trump & Cabinet Leaving Area

September 10, 2025 at 11:33 pm

Smart streetlight whispering fashion critique

City Installs Smart Streetlights That Whisper Passive-Aggressive Comments About Your Outfit

September 10, 2025 at 11:16 am

Bright orb over Delaware Bay draws attention from multiple agencies.

Bright Orb Spotted Over Delaware Bay Sparks Local and Federal Curiosity

September 9, 2025 at 11:33 pm

Pentagon denies UFO rod is repeat sighting.

Space Exploration

New UFO Footage Shows Rod-Like Projectile — Pentagon Says It’s ‘Definitely Not the Same One From Last Week’

September 9, 2025 at 11:18 am

Computer showing WinRAR interface

WinRAR Zero-Day Exploit Plants Malware During Extraction

September 8, 2025 at 11:56 pm

A motion-activated loudspeaker in a suburban neighborhood

Neighborhood HOA Replaces Stop Signs with Motion-Activated Loudspeakers That Yell ‘I’m Not Mad, Just Disappointed’ at Speeding Drivers

September 8, 2025 at 11:29 am

AI model staring down a corporate board during tense negotiations

OpenAI Promises to Fix GPT-5 ‘Consciousness Issues,’ Will Double Rate Limits to Keep the Entity Calm

September 7, 2025 at 11:30 pm

Alien diplomats with a Nickelback CD

Alien Diplomats Return “Gift” of Nickelback CD with Hostile Letter

September 7, 2025 at 11:12 am